Haruna Mishima / Fleeting Promise 

It’s winter.
My breath turns white and my fingertips are numb from the biting cold.
Walking beside me, she must have felt the same, as she breathed onto her hands.

“…They talk about “global warming,” but December sure is cold, huh?”

She… “Haruna Mishima” is an idol. A “pure-hearted idol,” a type said to be on the brink of extinction.
But I know. Haruna isn’t just beautiful on the outside… No, her heart is even more beautiful than her looks.
There was a time when Haruna was worried about her path as an idol, but now she seemed to have completely shaken off her doubts. She was climbing the stardom ladder at an incredible pace, shining brighter than ever before. She is literally a “shining star”.

…Between an idol like her and someone like me, solidified by mediocrity, we lived in completely different worlds.
Truthfully, she was beyond being an unattainable flower; she was an awe-inspiring presence I couldn’t even approach.
But between Haruna and me, there was a definite bond. I believed that.

…Though, what exactly was this bond called?
I… no, we hadn’t come up with a clear answer yet.

“What’s wrong? You’re spacing out.”
“Huh? N-no, it’s nothing… Sorry, it’s been so long since we last went home together.”
“That’s fine, but…”

It was hard to tell Haruna herself I’d been thinking about her. She seemed to misunderstand my vague reply.

“Were you thinking about your future plans?”
“Huh?”
“You know, the teacher told us to submit our career preference forms today, right?”

True enough, just during homeroom today, our teacher had said, “The Center Exam is fast approaching. Make sure you decide on your path and work hard toward it.”

“…Haruna-chan, what are your plans?”
“I’m thinking of going to university for now.”

The university she mentioned had a much higher entrance exam score requirement than the one I was aiming for.

(Right. One reason Haruna was called “the unattainable flower” was because her grades were top-tier in our year…)

I’d thought the distance between us had closed once, but now I felt anxious, as if it had widened again.

“…Which university are you aiming for?”
“Huh? Um…”

When Haruna’s pure eyes fixed on me, I panicked, feeling like all my doubts and qualms would be exposed.

“W-well… I’m actually still undecided.”
“Huh? Even though it’s already December?”
“Y-yeah, I know… It’s a problem, huh? Ahaha.”

…Right now, that was the only way I could cover up my awkwardness.

Hearing Haruna’s target university, I was worried.

(If we end up separated at university… could we keep our relationship like this?)

Of course, just because we’d be at different schools, Haruna’s attitude wouldn’t change.
She’s not that kind of person.
The problem was me.
I wasn’t confident that I could laugh with her like we do now if I chose a different path.
Especially since I already felt like being with her was beyond my status…
The days I spent with Haruna were like a gentle magic. …If I wasn’t careful, that magic would surely fade. Yes, like melting snow.
So what should I do?

…I knew the answer.

(I have to go to the same university as Haruna!)

Haruna was growing more beautiful every day.
Then I have to grow too, to catch up to her even a little. To reduce the distance between our hearts to zero.
But the world isn’t that simple.
No matter how strong my feelings are, my academic ability won’t suddenly improve.

(Sigh… This is going to be a tough fight.)

My mock exam results before winter break were disastrous, and I couldn’t help but sigh.

“…Are you okay? Is there something bothering you?”

Haruna, sitting next to me, looked concerned.

“Ah, yeah… Nothing’s wrong.”
“But… you haven’t been looking well lately, have you?”

I was sleep-deprived from suddenly increasing up my exam prep. I’d just gotten scolded by the teacher during class today for it.
Not wanting to worry Haruna unnecessarily, I smiled.

“I’m fine. Nothing’s wrong, really.”
“Oh? …Oh right, actually, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about… Would lunch break today be okay?”

I ended up having lunch with Haruna on the rooftop.
In autumn, we could enjoy looking down at the cherry blossoms and autumn leaves in the schoolyard, but now the north wind was a bit harsh.

“…You know, I’m thinking of changing my target university.”

Haruna said this while we were eating from our lunch boxes.
I was so shocked I almost dropped my chopsticks.

“Huh? Wh-why?”
“Why… Well…”

Haruna’s words were hesitant.
I was deeply unsettled.

(Why change your target university now? I’ve been working so hard all this time to go to the same university as you!)

I hadn’t directly told Haruna that I’d chosen the same university as her.
But she must have sensed how hard I’d been studying for the entrance exams every day.

“So… What do you think about that?”

Haruna asked, expecting my reaction.
“…I guess it’s fine? Whichever university you choose… it will be different from mine anyway.”
“Huh?”

I was so shocked by Haruna’s confession that I ended up saying something that pushed her away.

(No, that’s not what I meant to say!)

…Even thinking that, the right words wouldn’t come out.
After a while, Haruna murmured with sad eyes.

“…Yeah. Sorry for asking something weird.”

Haruna quickly left the rooftop.
I didn’t miss the redness and moisture in the corners of her eyes.

(Why did I say something like that? It doesn’t matter which university Haruna aims for, it doesn’t matter if she walks a different path from me, she should have freedom of choice…)

My heart grew colder than the winter wind…

Ever since parting with Haruna on the rooftop that day, I’d been living in darkness…
I was angry at myself for hurting her, and couldn’t concentrate on my studies.
Haruna seemed uneasy too, as she occasionally looked at me as if she wanted to say something, but she never spoke directly.
She was sitting next to me.
Even though we were only about 30 centimeters apart, her presence felt distant.
Yes, right now, we were even more distant than before that fateful music festival.

(…Why did things turn out like this?)

I know the reason. It’s my fault.
But… what should I do? If I apologized to her now, I’d probably only manage to speak hollow words lacking sincerity. And she’s so sharp, she’d surely see through my shallow feelings.

(I want to apologize to Haruna. But I can’t… Lately, this is all I’ve been thinking about. …And this isn’t good for my entrance exams either.)

It was a vicious circle of worries.
An endless spiral of anxiety and self-loathing.

…Trapped in these negative emotions, I looked away on my way home from school and accidentally bumped into someone.

“…Whoops, sorry. I was spacing out. …Wait, huh?”

What I’d bumped into was a large Santa doll.

(Oh right… Christmas is coming soon.)

I hadn’t noticed before, but the town was now adorned in colorful decorations for the holy night.
Yet, their glow couldn’t reach my heart, which was as dark as night.

(Huh? What’s that…?)

In this world where everything seemed faded, I found one thing glowing warmly.
Drawn to that small light, I stumbled into a shop…

It was one day after school, while I was keeping passing Haruna by in my life.
A girl who was close to her came to me for advice.

“Sorry if this seems sudden. It’s… about Haruna, actually.”

The moment her lips formed the name “Haruna”, my heart leapt.

“…Is something wrong with Mishima-san?”
“Yeah… Lately, she’s been strangely down. She won’t tell me why when I ask.”

It was hard to say, “I am the cause of that.”
Especially if Haruna hadn’t told her friend the reason.

“…Come to think of it, she has been acting weird lately. She suddenly started talking about changing her target university… You know? The university she suddenly made her top choice is…”

It was the university I had originally aimed for.

“Huh? Wh-why did Mishima-san choose that university?”
“I thought it was strange too. I mean, Haruna already had a national university, an S-rank, and was pretty much guaranteed admission… But she deliberately went out of her way to lower her rank.”

Haruna had deliberately bent her own aspirations to aim for the same university as me.
That alone was surprising enough, but I was even more shocked by what her friend said next.

“When I asked why she was lowering her rank, she answered shyly, “Because I’m chasing the light I’m aiming for”… and now she has been depressed out of nowhere… It doesn’t make any sense, right? So I thought maybe you might know something, since you have been close with Haruna lately… Oh!”

Before she could finish, I was already running. Only one thought occupied my mind.

(I want to see Haruna!)

She was a smart woman.

…Far smarter than I’d ever imagined.
Somehow, Haruna must have found out about the university I’d originally aimed for.
And when she saw me studying so hard that I was sleep-deprived, she immediately understood my true intentions.
So instead of letting me push myself too hard, she chose to adjust herself.

…Even if it meant straying from her own path.

(Haruna had been looking out for me from the very beginning. We were aiming for the same path. …And yet I’d misunderstood it all on my own!)
I left a little earlier, chasing after Haruna, sprinting full speed along the winter school path.

(…There she is!)

Spotting Haruna’s lovely figure from behind, I couldn’t help but call out loudly.

“…Haruna-chan!”
“Huh? …You!”

It was midwinter, cold enough to freeze one’s body, but I was drenched in sweat from running all the way here.
And my heart was burning just as fiercely.

“…Haruna-chan. I’m sorry for the awful things I said the other day. I horribly misunderstood you.”

I explained that when she asked me for advice about changing her preferred school, I misunderstood her and thought she was going to leave me, which hurt me.

“I think you already know it. But I want to say it clearly.”

I took a deep breath.

“…Even after high school ends, I want to stay by your side, Haruna-chan. I want to laugh and talk with you. That’s my dream right now. That’s why I want to go to the same university as you. …But it’s not a dream I want to achieve by compromising your aspirations.”
“Huh?”
“Haruna-chan, I want you to walk the path you’re aiming for, no matter what… You shine brighter than anyone, fulfilling your own dreams with confidence. I will aim to your brilliance.”
“So that means…”
“Yeah. I’ll work hard and get into the school you were aiming for. I know it won’t be easy with my current grades… but I still want to do it. Because I want to choose a way where both your dream and my dream can come true together. …So, if you’re okay with it, I’d like you to support me.”
“Yes… Of course!”

Haruna finally smiled. It shone more beautifully than any Christmas illumination.

“Oh, right… this.”

I took a present out of my bag.

“This is…”
“A Christmas present… It’s nothing special, but I’d like you to have it if you’d like.”

It was a brooch shaped like a snowflake.
I’d found it by chance in the shop window of some general store, while my heart was shrouded in darkness.
Its pure, transparent sparkle reminded me of Haruna, and I’d bought it on impulse.
I’d kept it in my bag until Christmas, holding onto the prayer that I could make things right with Haruna.

“Thank you… I will treasure it forever.”
“Yeah…”

The brooch I gave her sparkled modestly, yet somehow proudly, on Haruna’s chest.
Then, at that moment…

“Ah… It’s snowing.”

It was the first snowfall of the year.
Watching the snow fall like pale petals, Haruna murmured.

“I… never knew snow could be this warm and beautiful… It’s because of you.”

She smiled gently, her cheeks tinged with a rosy blush.

…I hoped it wasn’t just for the cold. Wishing that, I smiled back at her.