Psychiatrist Shouji Korechika 

Mentions of drug use and suicide.

Somewhere in Yamagata Prefecture stood a bizarre building unlike any other. It was a single story structure that looked as if someone took all the paints from a palette, dumped them all out, and then kneaded them together. Some people assumed it was a young artist's studio, while others saw it as just a defunct convenience store covered in graffiti. 

Most people wouldn’t even dream of approaching it, but that place held special meaning for a few. It was called the Shouji Clinic. It was a fully fledged mental clinic, directed by the eccentric Shouji Korechika. 

His behavior and fashion sense were just as eccentric as the exterior. Among his patients, it was generally understood that it was impossible to tell which one of them was the patient. Patients who came to him almost never came back for a follow up, as there were only two outcomes. They were either cured in a single visit, or they left angry and never returned.

However, if one focused only on the part where he gave them enough energy to become so mad in the first place, it probably could technically be considered successful…

Another new patient was about to visit the eccentric clinic that day. Would their treatment lead to divine revelation, or be a lure to their own destruction?

Half hearted. I don’t think there was a better way to describe me. There were limits to what a lone individual could achieve in society.

I was still a child in elementary when I started thinking like that. Just for voicing my own opinion, I was bullied and made fun of… We live in a society where people believe the righteous thing to do is just follow the herd. I tried to resist at first, but eventually it became too much of a hassle. Following along was easier. Comfortable. I coasted through life all the way up to college, but then I hit a wall for the first time in ages.

“Huh!? Rejected again… Why!?”

I hadn’t gotten a single call back since I started job hunting. Despite all the flattery and times I had gone out drinking with them… My school friends, the connections I relied on, totally blew me off like I didn’t matter to them at all.

I didn’t have the money saved for grad school. If I was kicked out of college, I was headed right for the streets! I was like a lost kitten with no time to waste!

“Crap, crap, crap– What do I do… I-I just need to mellow out, calm down… Uuuee, I can’t calm down! Shit!”

The professor was the only person I could turn to. Grasping at straws, I met with my seminar professor and asked if he could help me find a job.

“Professooooor, no, my savior! Please, I’m beeeegging. I need a job… Preferably an easy one…”

“...You’ve got some nerve showing up like this when you’re hardly ever in class.”

“I don’t even care where it is! Uuhh, if you get me a job, I’ll introduce you to this cute girl!!”

Saying it out loud gave me goosebumps.

“...A soft girl.”

“What?”

“I’m counting on you to find me a cute soft girl.”

…Yippee! The deal was done! My connections paid off! My future was secured for the time being. Now, once I get the job, I’ll coast through the work, marry a hot guy, and then retire early!

Jeez, I’d really like to punch my past self for having such an ego.

The building in front of me was so bizarre that it made me think that. 

“This is a mental health clinic? For real!?”

According to the professor, the director was the best of the best, and the pay was good. I had gotten totally hyped up about the director being a total hottie, and this was what I got. Anyone would have felt the same. Even God.

“W-well, it doesn’t really matter what the place looks like when the money is good.”

As I was about to enter the door, pondering my future, it opened and stepped out before I could.  I thought it was a patient and moved out of the way, but they just stopped right in front of me. Huh?

“Oh my~ Here for an exam? Oh well! Sorry, we don’t take walk-ins~!”

“Uh, a-are you…Dr. Korechika?”

“B-I-N-G-O, bingo! I’m Dr. Shouji Korechika, theee clinic director!” he said, his tone unnecessarily bouncy.

The suspicious man, or I guess the psychiatrist, started doing a happy little dance like this was our honeymoon. Right off the bat, I was hit with a bizarre and mysterious world. I was DYING to go home, but I couldn’t give up.

“I’m not a patient! I’m Natsumi Mato, and I’ll be working here starting today." 

“Aah, right, right. You’re the one who got the job through connections. What’s with that look? You think I’m annoying, don’t you?”

“N-no! I don’t~! (Ugh…Jeez…)”

“Well, I am a psychiatrist, reading minds is a piece of cake. Anyhow, nice meeting you.”

“Oh, yeah! Same here~!”

After that, the doctor went back to the examination room in the back.  That was how I met Dr. Shouji. Also it was the start of the worst days of my life.

It had been a week since I started working as an office clerk at the Shouji Clinic, and it was right in the middle of spring. I had thought my days would be hectic, but they turned out to be boring and uneventful. There were so few patients coming in that I probably spent more time hanging around with my mouth open. 

Honestly, in a remote area like that, where time felt twice as long as in the city, I doubted there were even people who suffered from mental illness. But then finally, finally, someone scheduled an appointment. They were set to come in just after noon.

“Doctor, I’ve brought the patient.”

“Yeah, yeaaah, come on in~”

“Uhh, right this way, please.”

“Excuse me…”

“Wel-come iiiin, you two~!”

I guided the patient, my first patient since getting the job, and I settled into a seat in the corner of the room to get to work.

….But hang on. I had just realized–

“Doctor… Why am I working in the exam room?”

Since I was the only staff member, I had to help the doctor out too. But at that point, I was a nurse, not an office clerk.

“It brightens things up having a beauty like you around, Natsumi~”

“Haa… Well, it’s whatever as long as I get paid… Wait–no! Doctor, the examination please!”

“I geeeet it. No need to be so harsh. I’m not a kid, you know~?”

“Ahaha, doctor~ Please pull yourself together~ (Tch, what a pain…)”

I handed the doctor the questionnaire and sat down. 

“Hmm, I see~ Insomnia, huh?”

“I–I haven’t been able to sleep at all. I haven’t had a decent night’s sleep in two months… I– I– I feel like I’m gonna lose it if this keeps up…!”

“I totally get that. I lose a toooon of sleep myself when I get too into a TV show or game~!”

“Huh!?”

O-oops. Almost told him to shut up about himself. Almost. Instead, I gently proposed we skip the preamble and get right into the examination.

“Can you tell me about your bedtime routine~?”

“Yeah… Every night before bed, I scatter salt at the entryway and place a bowl of water and an amulet on the floor." 

Huuuh? That’s not exactly what I had been expecting. I mean, no matter how you look at this…

“But it still doesn’t work !I’ve been trying the method you taught me, day after day after day after day! But I keep hearing a voice telling me to ‘come here’!”

Oh! I see! Wait, no–

“What should I do, doctor? Please help me!”

“Uh, it sounds like a gh-”

“Yep, yep~! Just leave it to me~!”

...Huh? There was a cure for something like this?

“Aaaalrighy, I’ll start getting ready~” 

The doctor said that and then left the room. Ten minutes or so later, the doctor returned with his arms full of exorcism equipment. 

“Talismans, drums, prayer beads, and whatever… Why do you have all this stuff?”

“I am a psychiatrist, aren’t I~?”

“That literally does not answer my question!”

“Come on, Natsumi, give me a hand!”

Tch. Reluctantly, I put all of the exorcism stuff in their specific spots just like the doctor told me. What was I even doing… I didn’t go to college to do whatever that was… Before I knew it, even the patient had been roped into helping out. By the time we finished, it was already almost evening.

“Yaaawn~ Great job! You guys did great~!”

“...Huh? What are you so relaxed for?”

When I looked over at the doctor, he was stretching with a cup of tea in his hand.

“I just can’t go on without my afternoon tea time, you know? The brain needs sugar. You get it, right~?”

Evening! It was almost evening! Great. I had gotten totally caught up in his antics again. Stay. I had to stay…

“S-so what now?”

“First, we sprinkle some purifying salt…”

The doctor started rubbing salt directly on the patient in bed.

“The– Wh-what the hell are you doing?”

Completely ignoring the patient’s choking, the doctor rhythmically slid his palm up, down, left, and right. 

“Getting ready to get rid of the ghost possessing them~ Here you go, Natsumi! Start beating the drum!”

“Oh, uh, okay, okay! Wait, is that a straw doll!?”

I started pounding on the drum in total desperation. As I hit it absentmindedly, it slowly started to feel good. Maybe it was more fun than I thought…The doctor was swinging around a staff with paper streamers in time with the drumming. It was a surprisingly authentic performance. 

Not long after, the patient began trembling and sweating profusely.

“S-ssstop it!! G-g-aahh…”

“Nice~! Check out all that suffering~!”

“Wh-wh-what!?”

“It’s heeeere~! Welcome~!”

“B-be so for real! W-w-what do we do, doctor!?”

“We do this~! Be gone, evil spirit~★”

The doctor punched the empty air with prayer beads in hand. Wait. He punched it!? 

“Phew~! Exorcism complete!”

At the time, the exorcism had seemed like a bunch of bullshit, but the patient was sleeping soundly, looking as though a heavy burden really had been lifted from them. 

“So… Is the treatment over…?”

“Bingo! It’s all gone, I checked~”

Checked what…?

“You can see ghosts?”

“Of course. I knew it was there from the start~”

“The– You mean the second we walked into the room?”

“You heard me, right? Welcome iiiin, you two~!”

Ha…Haha…. I could not keep up with this. I finally understood why the clinic didn’t have any staff. Wait, come to think of it, we didn’t even use the amulet at all!

Since then, patients regularly visited the clinic, but there weren’t any more bizarre exorcisms. First time patients were taken aback by the doctor’s energy, but it was only temporary. Even though the doctor had a sharp tongue, he treated everyone so effectively that they never needed to come back for repeat visits. I always thought you had to visit a mental health clinic multiple times, so I was convinced of the doctor’s skills.

“Oooh… So that’s why it’s always so dead in here! That’s so funny~”

As I was spinning around on the chair at the reception desk…

“...Tch, excuse me!”

…Someone called out to me. Standing there was an old man and a guy maybe around nineteen years old.

“Crap! Sorry about that, do you, uh, have an appointment?”

“Yeah, I want you to see my grandson. Where’s the doctor! Hurry and get the doctor!”

The old man thrust his insurance card with such a desperate urgency, like he was robbing a bank. The way he was panicking, I figured the situation had to be dire. And… yeah. Looking at his grandson, it was bad. His face was gaunt, and his hands trembled like crazy. And on top of all that…

“Fuck off! You’re trying to kill me, aren’t you? Aaaiigghh!!”

Ah, yeah. It had to be drugs, right? I rushed both of them to see the doctor.

“So how did your grandson wind up like this?”

“The other day when I woke up, three men showed up at my house with my grandson. They said if I wanted to help him, I had to bring money to [xx]…”

Even with a patient right in front of him, the doctor acted dismissive the entire time. I sighed, but now wasn’t the time to get hung up on that.

“They want three million! There’s no way I can come up with money like that!”

This… was way above our heads. This was something for the police to deal with.

“Doctor, I think we should–”

“Could you go home now~? I really, really hate kids~”

“...Huh?”

I thought he was going to treat the patient in one way or another, so the cold response left me in shock. The old man was even more confused.

“Y-you bastard!! You think that’s the kinda thing someone who chose the path of medicine should say!?”

“Teehee~ Everyone has likes and dislikes, right?”

With a smile, the doctor started spinning around in his chair and stopped listening. Once he got like that, there was nothing more we could do.

“What a joke! I’m never coming back here again!”

“Yeeah, yeah~ Adios, amigo~!”

How cold… I was at a total loss for words. All I could do was watch them leave.

“What are you doing? Like, yeah, we can’t handle something like that, but we could have done something else…”

“Hey, Natsumi~? You’re free tonight, right? Waaanna go for a night drive with me~? You’re into that, aren’t you~?

“U-uh, yeah, I do, but… What?”

“Okay, let’s meet up here after dark~! We can go stargazing~!”

The doctor instantly dropped what he was doing and vanished. I answered his random question, but I was kicking myself for being kind of tempted by the idea of the night drive.

“Haa, what am I thinking…”

In the end, I just let the doctor talk me into going for a night drive without putting up any real fight. It’s not like I was actually happy to be invited or anything. I was just lonely spending the night by myself... Wait, did that make me sound even more desperate!?

With those feelings welling up inside me, I barely registered the nighttime scenery passing by. Then again, it was hard to get into the mood for a stylish drive when the ride was a bright pink minivan. 

Before I knew it, the doctor apparently made it to our destination and parked the car.

“We’re heeeere~! Hey, hey, is your heart racing~?”

He looked at me, a cool expression on his face like he was taking a photo. I’ll admit he was handsome… But that’s what pissed me off about him!

I give him a half hearted reply, and we head towards our destination—a single story building. It was some place called [xx]. A garish, vulgar neon sign was shining above. It was like the embodiment of lust itself. That place looked shady as hell!?

N-no way, was he going to use some shady drug on me!?

“...Huh? Drugs?”

This was the place that drug addict patient was going to…! No way, he’d do this after saying something like that to a patient!?

“Well then, let’s go, Natsumi! Here, catch!”

“...Huh?”

As the doctor said that, he shoved a heavy gun into my hands and was suddenly wearing a gas mask…!”

“Pretty cool, right~?”

“What? You’re gonna raid the place!?”

“B-I-N-G-O~! Thirty points for youuuu, Natsumi!”

“I told you I don’t need those!”

With guns in both hands, the doctor charged forward. 

“W-wait, don’t just leave me!”

Uh, what was I supposed to do? As I hesitated, I heard screams coming from inside, and smoke began pouring from the building. Should I run? But I couldn’t just leave the doctor behind… Whatever. I had to go get him. I had no choice. I was gonna go get him! I was!

“UWAAAAAH!!”

I put on the mask that had been strapped to the gun and stormed into the building. Ignoring the customers scrambling to escape, I fired a round into the ceiling. The recoil of the gun felt pretty good. 

“HAHAHA!!!”

—I have no memory of what happened after that. However, the lilt of the doctor’s voice clung to my ears.

“—Ah!”

Before I knew it, I was in the doctor’s car. A gas mask was laying at his feet as he drove.

“That… wasn’t a dream, was it?”

I was just supposed to work the front desk…

“Doctor, that thing was real, right?”

“No waaaay, owning one would be a crime~ It’s a fake~”

Ha…Haha…

“Natsumi~ Look, look!”

In the direction he was pointing, fireworks were being launched from the spot where the building had been.

“What hoooorible fireworks~!”

I let my mind go blank as the scenery rushed past at high speed. Gazing out the window, I saw bright, twinkling stars filling the sky.

"Haha, it's huge... Oh, a shooting star. Or not. Shooting stars move more like thiiiis, right~? Ah! That's Arcturus and Spica...... I thiiiink that's the Spring Triangle~”

Haha… Ahaha….

Haha…

…

The exciting night came to an end, and morning arrived. The headline “dismantling of a drug trafficking ring” was plastered all over the news. Photos from the scene showed where the [xx] building had been.

“I can’t believe… This wound up so serious…”

That old man from before came barging into the clinic. Apparently, the doctor had gone to pick up the man's grandchild—who had been inside the shop that night—and promptly had him hauled off to a rehab facility for drug addicts. 

Totally ignoring the old man’s shouting, the doctor maintained his usual attitude, “I haaate kids, but I hate adults even more~!”

That was all he said before spinning around in his chair. What a coincidence, I hate adults like you too. 

I had absolutely no idea what’s going on in his head, but, just a little, I felt like I had touched upon the core of who he was. Maybe.

After experiencing so many exciting incidents that I felt I’d grown nerves of steel, my life returned to its usual boring routine. Then, one day during the dreary rainy season…

She arrived.

“...”

I couldn't tell if it was because she was drenched from the rain or if she was always that way, but her face was completely hidden behind her pitch black hair. She told me she was there for an appointment, and I took her to see the doctor.

“Soooo, what did you want to talk about~?”

The girl muttered under her breath, her eyes (presumably) fixed on the floor, “...I wish I was dead.”

“Fiiiinally, someone normal! Thank god!”

“You’re, um, happy about that?”

I silently withdrew my victory pose and replied with perfect composure, “No, not at all. So, what makes you wish you were dead?”

“I– everyone treats me like I’m invisible… It doesn’t matter if I’m gone.”

Ugggh, how depressing. It definitely fit the rainy season. For some reason, looking at that girl made me feel uneasy. I guess it brought back old memories. At times like this, our top-notch doctor needed to step in.

“What do you think, Doctor?”

He answered immediately, “Hmmm~ How about you try dying juuuust once~?”

“Obviously! I knew you’d say that!”

“Yeah, yeah. That’s definitely the way to go. Natsumi thinks so too, right~?”

“Pfft!”

The black mass suddenly turned to face me. She was actually looking at me!

“D-don’t worry, I wasn’t thinking like that, okay?”

“No, I get it… After all, someone like me…”

“...For the love of god, can you at least show me your face! At least look me in the eyes while we’re talking!”

In the heat of the moment, I swept her long bangs away from her face. Behind them was a beautiful girl with teary eyes. She had a few freckles, but she was so stunning you might not even notice them.

“...Uee… Why… would you do that…?”

“Oh, sorry… I didn’t mean any harm…”

Faced with the beautiful girl's precious, teary eyes, I felt the overwhelming urge to bury myself in the ground. 

“Oooo, you’re in troooubleeee. I’m gonna tell on yoooou~!”

“Tell who!? You’re the doctor, asshole! Can you just do a proper exam already?”

“I guess if I haaave to, Natsumi~”

It seemed the doctor had finally switched into work mode, and he took some medicine out of his desk. They were white and red capsules, with some five digit alphanumeric code stamped on them. 

“Can you two take these for me~?”

“Huh? Why do I have to?”

“Come on! Hurry it up~!”

The girl and I took the medicine as instructed. 

“So, what kind of medicine is this?”

“Sleeping pills~”

“Huh…?”

Before he’d even finished… speaking… My consciousnesses…. Was fading…

Ugh… my head hurts… I think I took some medicine, and…

“That’s right! That asshole!! Ow!!” 

I tried to jump up, but I realized my body was restrained. It was dark, but I think I was lying on a bed.

“U-um, what’s going on!?”

“Thank goodness, you’re safe as well…”

The black haired girl was right beside me, but the relief we felt was short lived. That carefree voice suddenly echoed from out of nowhere. 

“You’re awake~ Good, good~!”

“No, not good! What’s going on, Doctor!?”

When I asked the question, the doctor mimicked the sound of a drum roll with his mouth.

“Startiiiiing, now~! You’re playing a survival game~!”

“Huh? Game? What?”

“I’ll undo your restraints now~! If you want to live, escape this room and clear the trap—oh, I mean the stage~”

Did he seriously just say trap!?

“Well then, leeeet’s start~! Oh, the room will explode soon, by the way~”

At that moment, the restraints were released. I didn't know what lay ahead, but I had no choice but to act. 

I called out to the girl, “What’s your name, anyway?”

“Um… It’s Shino Utsuda.”

“Huh!? Ah, uh, let’s go, Shino!”

Without waiting for a reply, we bolted out of the room. Immediately afterward, a loud bang came from inside. Breaking out in a cold sweat, I carefully scanned the dark hallway and found a gun on a desk. It’s… the model gun I had used the other day!”

“Alright, this means we’ll break through!”

“U-um, what should I do…?” Shino asked, her voice full of confusion and distress.

I could only say one thing, “Isn’t it obvious? You fight on your own two feet!”

“But… I’ve never held anything like this before… I’ll just get in the way…”

“It doesn’t matter! You have to fight back! Isn’t there anything you wanna do when we get out of here!?”

Bewildered by my intensity, Shino spoke hesitantly,  “I want to have an actual conversation with my friends.”

“That’s it, focus on that! What else!?”

Shino’s thoughts poured out one after another. Maybe it was her desperate urge to live that drove her to it. She told me so much—from little things, to her biggest dreams.

“That’s plenty! So what’s your answer?”

“...Yes.”

“Say it louder!”

“Yes!!”

Her eyes, visible through her hair, were shining with the will to live. 

“That’s it! Now, let’s do this thing!”

“Um, could I ask you something?” Shino asked, her voice intense.

“Y-yeah?”

“How do you find the strength to move forward like that?”

“Forward…?”

Faced with the sudden question, I thought back on it. When exactly did I become the type of person to just charge ahead like that…?

“It’s amazing how you can say exactly what’s on your mind. I don’t think I could do that…”

If anything, I’d say I was more like Shino, keeping my thoughts to myself and– Oh, I get it now. I felt the way I did about her because she reminded me of my old self…

“It’s all about momentum. If you go in ready to crash and burn, it’ll probably be okay. Probably...”

“Pft… I think I get what you mean… I think I can do it.”

Before I knew it, she had started to smile. At this rate, maybe she’d stop thinking about wanting to die.

“Alright, let’s get the hell outta here so we can celebrate!”

“Okay!”

“WAAAAAAHHH!!!”

We ran as fast as we could. I was wary, expecting life threatening traps, but I realized the truth once we made it across the finish line. Hitting targets and overcoming obstacles… This “survival game” was airsoft.

After the incident with Shino was over, and I gave the doctor a good scolding, I returned to my usual reception duties. The day’s patient was someone who had suffered a mental breakdown after a conflict with their boss.

The doctor’s treatment was as absurd as ever. He even had the audacity to scribble all over the boss’s face with the patient. I expected the boss to get angry, but he seemed weirdly relieved and opened his heart to the patient. Apparently, the problem had been “a lack of communication”.

After finishing work for the day, I asked the doctor about something that had been bothering me for a while. 

“Why do you treat patients with such a flippant attitude? It seems like you’d manage just fine if you acted normally...”

He was probably just going to give me some random answer, right? Like always, I’d get mad and lash out at him. But his answer caught me off guard.

"It’s true that in modern psychology, talking to patients is a major part of a psychiatrist's job. But I don't believe that just talking is enough. If you only treat the surface, things will eventually revert to how they were." 

That was true. If you only skim the surface layer while the bottom remains murky, things might just revert to how they were once enough time passes. 

The doctor continued, his tone serious, “So in that case, why not treat the root cause? If the source lies within, we administer the most effective treatment.  If it's external, we eliminate that outside factor. What I do is incredibly simple. It’s just like being a dentist." 

I couldn’t really argue with that.

“Did you think just talking would be enough to make the patient feel better?”

“Well… There are things that can be resolved with conversation.”

“Okay, then I’ll punch you right now. You’ll probably go tell your parents or the police about it. Will that make your hatred toward me go away?”

“Well, maybe a little…”

“Hmm~” he continued, trying to provoke me with words that cut like a knife. “So what if that happened every day? Would talking still be enough to take your mind off it?”

…Nowadays, I’d probably punch him back. But not everyone could do that.

“You, tired of living that way, go to see a counselor, and they say to you ‘let’s think about why you got hit’.”

“Enough! I’m going home.”

Not wanting to hear any more, I left as quickly as I could. I swore I heard the doctor say something like, “Just a little more~”, but I didn’t care.

...I understood the idea of ​​treating the root cause, but I felt that insisting on what was logically correct wasn’t necessarily always the right answer.

Ever since the incident with the doctor and Shino, I had started thinking about my own life. Was I really okay with just drifting along aimlessly until the day I died?

“What should I do now…”

“Um…”

“I feel like I was onto something… What was it?”

“Um, uh!”

“AUGH!?”

While I was spacing out, a girl appeared in front of me. She had short black hair, prominent freckles, and she was incredibly cute. 

“Huuuh??? Are you–?”

“Yes, I’m Utsuda. I was here for an appointment the other day.”

The girl who greeted me shyly looked so much more energetic than she had back then. She was like sunshine instead of rain.

“Wow, talk about a makeover! You look great, it really suits you. Did you manage to open up to your friends?”

“I did! I wanted to come by and thank the lady who helped me make the change. So thank you!”

With that, the girl rejoined the others waiting outside the clinic and headed home. Even someone like me could make someone happy. It felt great. At that moment, the vague feelings in my heart suddenly came together and formed a single, clear thought.

“Something wrong?”

I turned around at the sound of the doctor’s voice. He wasn’t his usual self, looking at me with the same serious expression he’d worn the other day. He didn’t say anything, as if he was waiting for me to speak.

“I quit!”

“Okie dokie~! Yeeeah, sounds good~!”

Huh? That was it? It was so anticlimactic my mind went blank.

As if to add insult to injury, the doctor continued, “Sooo, can I ask for one last thing~?”

“Uh, sure?”

A mountain of paperwork piled up higher and higher on my desk. What the hell was this!?! 

“Didn’t feel like dealing with it myself, so it built up~ You can quit after finishing it all~”

“Are you for fucking REAL right now!!!?”

“Hehe, that’s the spirit. I’ll leave it up to you~!”

…Fine. It wasn’t that bad, right? I’ll finish it all, asshole!

After announcing my resignation and working through the mountain of paperwork and administrative tasks dumped on me, I left the Shouji Clinic. As I walked out, the doctor threw out the same line he always used with patients.

"If you ever need help again, please come back to the Shouji Clinic." 

Yeah right! Like I’d ever come back!

—Five years later.

I was making an appearance on a TV talk show. 

"Where’d you pick up that razor sharp wit, Ms. Mato?"

"I suppose... It’s the influence of someone I met back when I was at a low point in my life." 

After everything, I moved back in with my parents and started frantically studying. I later became a psychiatrist, and somehow, after making a snarky comment during an appearance on TV, I ended up making my debut in the entertainment industry. Apparently, my blunt way of speaking and quick comebacks were a hit with the younger generation.

At this point, I’d made a name for myself as an unconventional comedian.

"A lover, perhaps!?"

"Ahaha… Please never say that again. He was… someone who gave me a chance at a turning point in my life."

I hadn’t seen the doctor since that day. I’d heard rumors here and there about him flying around the world to treat patients or working as a big shot at some hospital, but I had no idea if any of that was true. It sounded like something he would do, so maybe it was possible.

There was one thing I knew for sure. He was still out there treating the root cause of everything. The reason I’m able to be the person I am today is because the clinic taught me that being my true self wasn't a bad thing…

Just then, I remembered something the doctor had said.

"If you ever need help again, please come back to the Shouji Clinic." 

What did he mean by "again"? It’s not like I was sick or something. And come to think of it, hadn’t he said something like "just a little more" when I had my argument with him—

As that memory resurfaced, I finally realized what he’d meant.

"The doctor… was treating me too…"

"Huh? Why are you crying?"

"O-oh! Uh, It’s nothing!"

Thanks to that chaotic doctor, I was able to say goodbye to the aimless person I used to be. Why was I thinking about that now, of all times? He always looked so composed, and he always acted so condescending toward everyone.

And yet…

Damn it. He was an amazing person. So amazing that it pissed me off.

I’m going to live my life as my true self, with the same strength and boldness as the doctor! I’m going to live my life to the fullest!

• "Soft girl" was taken from ゆるふわ  (yuru-fuwa) girl. It's a similar aesthetic.

• Shino Utsuda is also a pun that is sort of equivalent to being named Depresso McKillingmyself