Momoko Arai 

Momoko Arai does not work.

She bears the name only reserved for the most elegant, select people in the world — “Home Security Guard”. Or put in another way: “Jobless”.

Momoko lives in a single-family home residing in the Adachi district along with her parents and her older sister, although she rarely sees them outside having meals or snacks.
It’s not that Momoko doesn’t get along with her family. The truth is closer to the opposite.
It’s that she never comes out of her room unless absolutely necessary.

Every day, Momoko wakes up and opens her eyes from the bed after high noon, then enjoys the long night all by herself, illuminated by the light of her PC’s monitors, instead of that of the moon.

Today, she again gets out of her bed indolently, moistens her throat with leftover cola, pours hot water to the cup of noodles lying on the floor, and heads toward the monitor.

“...Haah. I sure do love these spicy noodles from Oomoto. I’ve just logged in now, whaddup chat!”

Momoko says hello to the users in her favorite online game, and several of her mates there greet her back.

…Although Momoko is currently living an absolutely self-indulgent life, she doesn’t precisely lack any income. Back then, there actually was a time when she worked in front of the public. As a wildly popular internet idol “MMCO”, to add.
Since the songs she used to sing while she was an idol had the lyrics and the music all written and composed by herself, the revenue is still hers to collect.
She still writes songs for other idols even now, as commissions… When she feels like it.

“Life is brief, fall in love with your oshi, maidens. No reason to be so desperate in life. Let’s all take it easy~”

…And like this, Momoko spends one more day of sweet, gorgeous otaku life with her all, not working for a single moment.

That day, Momoko saw her name on the headlines.

“What!? ‘Where has the super famous idol MMCO gone?’ …Someone actually remembers me lol. What even is the target audience for this article anyway?”

“MMCO” was an alias Momoko went by back when she was an internet idol. She once gathered immense popularity among the fans in the know, dancing and singing as a hardcore otaku idol, but…

“I was so young and sound as an idol, to think back… Oh man, as much as I enjoy my life as an idol, but I really did some questionable things back then, didn’t I…”

Momoko is still young now. And with her probably being the type of person to gain weight only in her chest, her figure didn’t seem to have changed very much from her idol days despite her utterly self-indulgent lifestyle.

Still, Momoko had no intention of ever returning to the cumbersome world of idols. The main reason she quit being an idol was a persistent stalker tormenting her.

Sometimes the distance between an internet idol and their fans can be awkwardly close. For Momoko, clueless and young back then, this was her Goldilocks zone. There were, however, some people among the fans who took matters way too far.

“That scum, super DNI… I guess there’s my mistake of not setting up a separate account for my IRL friends.”

The despicable stalker managed to locate the address of the apartment where she was living alone from one of Momoko’s real-life friends who didn’t know one bit of Momoko’s idol life, only to then start harassing her relentlessly.

The stalking continued until the day Momoko retired as an idol and fled back to her parents’ house in the middle of the night.

“...Well, it isn’t like those kinds of hassles matter to me anymore. I can just do whatever I would like to! I’m avoiding doing anything I hate with my life! That’s what I’ve decided!”

Momoko’s retirement has brought her second life, so to speak. Her happiness was there, when she’d be watching anime or playing online games as a hobby, living a laid-back life.

“Marriage and stuff like that are so much of a hassle! I want to spend my money on my oshi! I’m leaving all the IRL life to my afterlife!”

In a way, Momoko is living with more freedom and sincerity than anyone else on earth.
Let’s take a little peek into her life today.

— 03:34 AM.

Also often called the witching hours, but for Momoko this moment of the day is when she is most sober.

On the other side of the monitor must also be a night owl. The pace of conversation is showing no signs of slowing down, despite the work Skype session that is ongoing.

As Momoko chatters joyfully about her favorite idol or anime, she receives a notification for a new message in her inbox,

“...Huh? Wait a sec. I’ve got mail.”
“At this time of the day?”

Although Momoko *is* a super NEET, she takes extra care to her inbox so she checks her mails right away. (Although the matter of if she will respond as quickly depends on the sender.) 

And as always she opens her mail, following the steps that became almost like her instinct… 

Only to find herself frowning upon its details.

“Soon the new world to save the otaku shall open anew. They will emerge from the Five Sacred Sites, centered around Akihabara, The diva of the Five Sacred Sites shall lead the world. Idol of Adachi, you have been selected… Be grateful; be prepared for the moment to come… Huh?”

An email prophesizing the coming of a new world. But when would it be? How would it emerge? The details were completely left behind inside the email.

“...What is this even talking about?”

Momoko checks the sender’s email address for good measure, but she has no memory of seeing that address before. The address itself was just an unassuming array of random alphanumeric characters to start with.

It’s most certainly either spam or a joke mail, but she couldn’t help but have a sense of unease, like being pricked by tiny thorns.

“…Momoko? You there? Having trouble?”
“Actually…”

Momoko then recited the contents of the email to her friend at the other side of her computer screen.

“…Pfft, that’s dumb! Something like ‘I will become the God of this new world’!? It’s obviously spam! Like, use your braincells!”
“…Definitely.”

Momoko nods her head agreeing evermore to her friend, then puts that questionable email inside her spam folder. She then continued to enjoy her Skype session for a little more, with the email completely leaving outside her mind.

— 08:00 AM.

An early awakening unlikely for Momoko… was of course not the case here. Having finally finished the Skype session, Momoko has just laid in her bed to catch some sleep.

“…But I’m starving. I should get some breakfast before that.”

She went downstairs to check the kitchen on the first floor, finding everyone in her family but herself out of the house for work.

“Mmm, food, food… Something that preferably doesn’t sit heavy in my stomach when I wake up… Huh? This is…?”

On the table were her mom’s handmade sandwiches wrapped up, to her surprise.
“Don’t stay up too late, Momoko”, read the grateful memo left aside by her mother.

“Oh… Mama, Arigathanks! And my favorite ingredients! Man, it pays to have caring parents.”
Pleased with the unexpected find, Momoko returns to her room and starts watching a replay of a live broadcast on Smile Smile Douga with the sandwich in her hand.

“Mfufu, a video from the idol otaku I admire should have been uploaded yesterday.”

Though Momoko had experience as an idol herself — and although her experience as an idol was most certainly rough — she surprisingly hadn’t grown to hate the world of idols.
In fact, by retiring and having stepped back, she became able to support the idols purely as a fan.

And since Momoko is basically a hikikomori, she doesn’t follow the idols in real life like a so-called “groupie” by herself. She instead kept up with the latest idol activities by checking out video uploaders who adhere to proper etiquette and watching the videos they upload.

“Oh! This is it! Goated upload!”

Momoko checks the video right away.

“Let’s see, ‘A recommendation from our friend Bukuro Mad Police! Currently at a live concert at Ikebukuro featuring the idol that’s all the rage?’ Hype!”

Ikebukuro has recently become renowned as the street of otaku girls’ support. Momoko was anticipating a lovely, cute girl to appear, but…

“What the hell.”

The idol performing live inside the screen *was* lovely and cute, only when in the right mind that is. The sight of the idol blushing unusually, both eyes rolling back, all while furiously strumming the guitar that is studded with spikes… It was far from normal by any measure.

Plus the words the idol is saying as the MC, it was a rather unique selection of words — to put it bluntly, it didn’t make any sense at all. It was as if the idol was definitely high on some unsafe drug. 

“This is actually unreal… Is this even safe to air in the first place?”

Despite her words, Momoko’s eyes were glued to the idol’s overwhelming performance.

She starts looking up info about the idol using a PC next to her, while still watching the live performance comparable to a banquet of frenzy.

(…Originally an idol from Akiba, huh. …This kind of idol does exist in Akiba after all!)

As she continues to watch the live performance, still impressed… For the final performance the idol completely rolls both eyes back, makes a double V sign while convulsing, and proceeds to collapse on the stage.

Momoko felt an unexplainable surge of excitement in her chest as the banquet of frenzy flew by in the blink of an eye. However…

(‘LMAOOOO I’m not doing that kind of performance lol’)

— 12:00 PM.

After indulging in such intense live footage from the start of the day, Momoko decided to collapse into her bed and dozed off. She then wakes up and lethargically gets out of bed at high noon, reaching for the leftover cola bottle with a grumpy face.

“…I think I just had a skibidi nightmare. Something about the new world and stuff…”

That one mail she checked earlier today must have been the source of it.

‘(I definitely checked the contents… But something about it keeps bugging me…)’

Momoko has far more than enough time on her hands. She started her research on the ‘Five Sacred Sites’ mentioned in the mail, not expecting much from it.

“…Sacred site for otaku, so I’m definitely starting from Akiba… Diva of Akiba… Akiba’s most extreme idol…”

At that moment, a sudden realization struck Momoko.

“…An idol in Akiba is nobody but Yuria-chan! Obviously!”

Yuria Onimamushi. She is truly the otaku world’s equivalent of Joan of Arc. Even though she calls her fans “the ignorant masses” and herself as “the Queen,” her manifesto was entirely reasonable and sincere.

Yuria sought to create a world that is peaceful where discrimination and prejudice do not exist — by guiding the otaku who can’t help but be stifled by the world; by turning the whole world into Akihabara.

Such a noble otaku manifesto. Momoko, as an ex-idol and current idol otaku, could sincerely relate to Yuria’s generosity.

“…It’s true. It’s a harsh world for an otaku to live in. I also think that they better belong to a world where they can be understood by everyone.”

Momoko had then been scouring the internet for pictures and videos of Yuria on Smile Smile Douga for some time.

“…Aaaahhh~ Yuria-chan’s so cute! The clumsiness is so charming and exquisite, such as Yuria-chan mistaking Otorii station with Kanagawa! Huff huff! Long live the Akiba Empire!”

Momoko thus ended up as a devoted member of Yuria’s so-called “ignorant masses”, instead of getting a clue out of the mysterious mail from earlier.

— 13:00 PM.

After fully re-charging her ‘moe’ from videos of Yuria, Momoko continued her research, looking at Nakano which should be one of Five Sacred Sites.

“…If the diva of Akiba is Yuria, then Nakano’s diva must be… some idol with a quirk as strong as Yuria’s? …But does such an idol exist in Nakano?”

For Momoko, enjoying her gorgeous hikikomori life to the fullest in the Adachi district, Nakano feels so distant and afar.

Then she remembered being invited several times to events hosted by a camera shop called “Canonji Camera” back when she was an active idol.

“Canonji Camera… it was that great shop dedicated to high quality cameras and parts… It was even known as the Mecca for camera enthusiasts. Maybe it could still be hosting events regularly?”

And Momoko’s hunch turned out to be precisely correct when looked up.
Canonji Camera was seemingly putting even more effort into idol events than before. And upon looking up their idol girl — presumably the main star of those events — she was left speechless.

“Idol of Nakano… Doesn’t this Nikoru-chan fit the profile? …But this is a junior idol photo session!”

This idol called “Nikoru Canonji” was less of a so-called “legal loli” and more like a preteen even after considering various aspects.

“Such a huge line for this girl’s photo session… Diddy moment imminent lmao! She’s lowkirkenuinely cute but her age is clearly not safe! Officers, these people right there… Seriously, is this OK? Big sis is really concerned for you…”

Having suffered from a stalker herself, Momoko couldn’t help but worry about Nikoru’s safety. However, after watching a video of her idol activities her opinions did a complete 180.

“…Yeah. She’s totally safe.”

Nikoru had the eyes of a beast, and a hunter, before that of an idol. Anyone who would try as much as even to lay a finger on her would most likely end up being hunted down by her and her minions.

“…Well, Nakano’s diva should be Nikoru then!”

— 14:00 PM.

Momoko continues her research with Shin-koiwa, supposedly one of the “Five Sacred Sites”.

“…I feel really sorry for the people there, but is there even an idol in Shin-koiwa? Actually what even is there to start with?”

Momoko, being the queen of hikikomori, Shin-koiwa’s image in her head was quite far from what would be considered glamorous or attractive.

“Shin-koiwa has that negative vibe to me, something about lots of drunkards… Eh, whatever. Let’s just look up about that place.”

And she stumbled upon an idol that just felt right.

“Oh wow! There’s an actual idol! in Shin-koiwa! In THAT Shin-koiwa!?”

…Although Momoko had been tearing into Shin-koiwa, after she saw the homepage of the idol — allegedly the diva of Shin-koiwa — she couldn’t help but be taken aback completely. 

“…This girl sure is cute, but… She’s dissing Chiba a little? Maybe a lot? …Does she have a grudge against Chiba or what?”

The idol of Shin-koiwa also had a self-deprecatory way of speaking. Momoko, concerned about her, scours through her homepage.

“Oh! This is Yuria-chan’s little sister! Actually super cute! …Although she seems to have a fuss about Chiba… Is Chiba that bad? …Yeah Chiba’s probably that bad.”

…Momoko was completely soft when it came to cute girls.

— 18:00 PM.

Momoko woke up after drowsing off during her research regarding the divas who shall lead the otaku to the new world.

“…Mmmmng… What time is it-…? …18:00? Huh!? I overslept!”

Actually, she had made plans with her older sister to go watch a live performance in Shinagawa, by a train idol named “Shizuno Tsukui”.

Momoko’s sister doesn’t care one bit about idols and whatnot. Instead of reading manga or watching anime, she’s the type of person to use that time to go dance in a club, or visit an izakaya with a friend for a drink; a complete extrovert.

Light and shadow; an active extrovert and a shut-in introvert. Although their personalities were an absolute opposite to one another, Momoko’s sister had been concerned about her younger sister, living as a shut-in and almost never stepping outside at all.

And that was the reason why Momoko’s sister tried to lure her outside, using the live performance of Shizuno Tsukui, an idol who is in love with trains — and more particularly with that of the Keikyu Line — and an idol Momoko has been showing her interest for a while.

Although grateful to her sister’s favor, Momoko refused to play along to that plan.
(‘…Sisski would be taking pity on me or thinking about something like plenty of joy waiting outside, since she’s an extrovert, but… I’ve living inside because I want to, really…’)

…It is a great grief that there exists between the mindset of an introvert and an extrovert a giant wall, unskippable to both.

And here we see Momoko, having perfectly overslept past the appointment with her sister; with that negative mindset possibly being the cause.

And although Momoko did make it to Nippori station after hastily leaving her home…

“Guess making it to the live is out of the question… I need to call sisski… Ah, let it be, let it be! I’ve already come this far, so might as well buy some cheap fabric, eat Indian curry, and get back! Also buy sisski’s favorite sweets on my way back so I can plead for mercy!”

…Momoko was very far from a person with any form of perseverance.

— 20:00 PM.

After going out for the first time in a long while, Momoko returned home in a great mood with her stomach full with the Indian curry she had eaten.

“I like mom’s curry just as much, but there’s a certain charm to authentic Indian curry… Now let’s see…”

Momoko is again sitting in front of a PC to resume her research on the “Five Sacred Sites”.

“According to the weird mail there should be two more spots… One of them being Adachi… …Huh? Adachi?”

Adachi. Momoko’s home ground. Even as a complete shut-in, an idol who would stand out from the rest originating from Adachi wouldn’t go unnoticed to her. And surely enough, surfing the seven seas of information that is the Internet, didn’t wield anything about an idol from Adachi.

Then she came into a sudden realization, as if a lightning struck through her head.

“...Could this diva of Adachi be… Me?”

Back in the days when Momoko was still an internet idol, her popularity was simply tremendous, as an objective fact. All along it could have been that the mail was sent knowing that it would be sent to the divas of each of the Five Sacred Sites.

“I guess I did build an era, and I’m not going to be left out in this. Adachi is my home ground after all.”

Prone to flattery, combined with the fact that she’s in a good mood right now, Momoko’s mouth was making a small proud grin. It is stopped as her mind slips into thinking about another possibility.

“…But if that was true, then the sender must have known my past, that my current whereabouts are in Adachi… Not to mention that this is my private mail address.”

Once plagued by a stalker in the past, Momoko had taken extra care to ensure that her personal information remained private using every method she could think of, when she decided to move to the Adachi district. Even as of now she’s extremely considerate about her private information despite the absence of stalkers. 

“…Is this that weird guy from the internet again? Give me a break, please!”

As she mutters to herself in a silly manner, she is overcome with the sense of dread.

“…That’s it! A bath! I’ll take a bath! I’ll throw myself into a tub of hot water!”

Momoko then heads to the bathroom to run a bath for herself for the first time in a while and get her mind off the current situation.

— 23:00 PM.

Momoko is sitting in front of her PC again after a long bath, forgetting to even dry her hair. She just couldn’t get her head off the mail.

“So the only place left is… Kasai. Diva of Kasai…”

And just at the moment as she makes her mind and starts looking it up —

“MOMOKO! You stupid sister! Get down here right this instant!”
“Gah!? Sisski?”

Along with the sound of the front door being violently opened, Momoko’s older sister’s raging voice echoed and reached every corner of the house.

‘Sisski isn’t a bad person. Considerate, even. But her way of thinking about things… just doesn’t go along with mine! Also she’s a pain to deal with when she’s drunk!’
“MOMOKO!”
“Ah! Okay, okay! Getting right up there!”

Momoko usually ignores her sister in situations like this, but this was different given what had happened today; given that Momoko herself is clearly responsible for her sister’s current behavior.

Momoko, reluctantly, decided to lower her head to her sister who is menacingly standing before her.

“…Sorry about what happened today, sis.”
“You think a ‘sorry’ is enough? Useless excuse of sister!”

Momoko lets her sister scold her for a while, obediently. Eventually, she grows bored of it.

“…Ahh—! That’s enough. Sisski, you know we have different levels of energy towards different things, I’m just born an introvert so just leave me alone and—”
“Stop with the nonsense already! “Ski” ain’t my name!”
“No that’s not what I mean—”

…And thus the arguing of the mutually misunderstood Arai sisters has continued late into the night.

After shoving her sister into her room and forcing her into sleep, Momoko collapsed into her bed and fell into a deep sleep.

And then…

— 05:00 AM.

“H-Huh!? An earthquake!?”

Momoko opened her eyes feeling a vibrant shake.

“Awawawa! I gotta turn my PC off! Have to lay my fragile figures down!”

Momoko — the epitome of an otaku even in a panic — got her treasures to safety, and hid herself under the sturdy desk where she put her PC on. But it was at this moment Momoko noticed the peculiarity.

“But the shaking feels… weird for an earthquake? It’s been sporadic jerks the whole time. Also it feels a little too bright out there…?”

As Momoko takes a peek outside from the windows, she sees a piece of land floating in the atmosphere in the distance.

“What!? ts real? I-Is that the Floating Continent!? Or something like the Castle in the Sky!? That’s where Akiba is at, right?”

SNS is the greatest support she can rely on moments like this. She checks Tweeter, Smile Smile Douga, PhewTube, et cetera her phone, and expectedly everyone has been talking about the giant floating landmass that suddenly emerged in the atmosphere above Tokyo.

‘what kind of skibidi does it take to produce that kinda rumbling’
‘Oh my god it’s the magic continent from FF6!!!’
‘Akiba just. Yeeted itself way up to the sky??’

“...And so they say. So my eyes haven’t committed Alt+F4.”

Walking down the stairs and to the first floor, Momoko finds her parents staring at the television as if they were glued to the live broadcast. According to the broadcast, Akiba has indeed risen into the sky.

“...And there’s sisski still sleeping in the middle of all this fuss… Extroverts are scary!”

Watching her completely unfazed sister, Momoko's feelings, oddly, also calmed down.

“Alright! Time to morb my way there myself!”

Momoko was certain about one thing: This commotion, the mysterious mail — it is undoubtable that these bear some connection to each other.
“The new world to save the otaku,” said the mail… And if that’s the now-floating Akiba, the ones who could quell the current situation would be the divas from the Five Sacred Sites… …Which includes Momoko herself!

“…Well— a retired ex-internet idol and current NEET saving Akiba… LMAO material. LMFAO even.”

…Momoko laughed as if to encourage herself, and stepped out of the house on her own as her rare display of initiative.

And so she marches towards the newly emerged continent, the Shangri-La of the otaku: Akihabara!

Translator's notes are presented in order of their story appearances.

• It’s Momoko Arai

Original text is 新井桃子だお.

~だお as an internet meme is an intentional typo on ~だよ, first spread in 2ch, which is a website that is stylistically (although not politically) similar to 4chan.

• What’s up, my chat!

Original text is よろしくニキー.

This is a meme originating from the なんでも実況J board of 2ch, where one uses this phrase to pretend to be a newcomer to the group.

This unlike how in an English-speaking gamer group ironically says something like "what's up, my gamers!", mocking someone who does not originally belong in the group, with incorrect usage of vocabulary (the correct phrase would be "what's up gamers!") denoting that the one who is speaking this someone who wants to fit in but does not know about the group well enough.

Similarly, よろしくニキー is a misuse of the affix ニキ (originally without hyphen), which is originally affixed to a name as an indicator of derogation or endearment/honoring, depending on the context.

• Adachi District

Original text is アダチ区, instead of 足立区, presumably to avoid correlation to the real world Adachi ward.

• Oomoto

Possible reference to 蒙古タンメン中本 (mouko tanmen nakamoto), a ramen chain in Japan known for especially spicy ramen. They also sell cup noodles that resemble the spicyness which should be the kind of noodles Momoko would be eating in this passage. 

• I’ve just logged in now, whaddup chat!

Original text is さあて今日もインしたお、よろしくニキー. Refer to notes #1 and #2.

• Life is brief, fall in love with your oshi, maidens.

Original text is 命短し、推し押せ乙女, which is likely a parody of the phrase "命短し 恋せよ少女", from Gondola No Uta composed in 1915 by Shinpei Nakayama).

• My IRL life

Original text is リア充, of which can defined as "the state of being diligent in one's real life, or a person in such state."

• If you work you lose!

Original text is 働いたら負け.

Originating from a TV interview in 2004, this became a meme in Japanese internet subculture. You may recognize Anzu Futaba saying something similar if you have had experience with the iDOLM@STER franchise; this is the same meme.

• What!?

Original text is ファッ！？ which is an "inmu" reference. In the original source, that dialogue comes directly after the infamous 114514.

The original source is gay pornography; tread with care when searching it up.

• What even is the target audience for this article anyway?

Original text is 誰得だよ。この記事……

誰得 is an internet slang that is a shortened form of 誰が得するんだよ (who would even want this?).

• Super DNI

Original text is "絶許顔見."

This is 2ch internet slang, shortened form of 絶対に許さない。顔も見たくない

• Work Skype session

Original text is "作業イプ", a portmanteau of 作業 and スカイプ, which means having a Skype session while working or studying.

• I will become the God of this new world

Original text is 今時、新世界の神になる which is a reference Death Note, or more precisely, a line of dialogue that appears in said media.

• Like, use your braincells!

Original text is "JK!"

JK, in the context of KY語 which is essentially 2ch initialism, is an initialism of "jousikitekini kangaete", or "to think in common sense."

• LMFAOOO

Original text is ファーｗｗ.

An onomatopoeia of the signature laugh of Akashiya Sanma (明石家さんま), a Japanese comedian, made viral on Japanese internet subculture. Check out the signature laugh yourself here.

• Smile Smile Douga

Original text is スマイル動画, parody of ニコニコ動画 (Nico Nico Douga).

• Ahegao double-peace

A common trope in pornographic content. It describes a specific facial expression of ecstasy during sexual intercourse, alongside two "peace sign" hand gestures.

See Koutarou Yatagarasu's transformed art. v(゜∀。)v 

• Actually unreal

original text is ぐうヤバ, a Japanese internet slang denoting something crazy or insane, to such a degree that the speaker is without words.

• Arigathanks

Original text reads マジｔｈｘ！

マジ being a Japanese internet word meaning "very" (i.e. used as an intensifier) and ｔｈｘ being "thanks", retaining its meaning in the western internet culture.

• Watching a replay of a live broadcast on Smile Smile Douga

Unlike YouTube lives, which can be watched again after the live broadcast has ended by default, in Nico Nico Douga, live broadcasts are unwatchable once ended. To watch it later one needs to make a "time shift reservation (タイムシフト予約)" beforehand if not subscribed for a membership.

• Goated upload!

Original text reads うｐ乙！where うｐ is the romaji input of "up" as in "upload", and 乙 (read: otsu) being a shortened form of お疲れ様 or お疲れ, meaning something like "thanks for your hard work."

• Hype!

Original text reads ｗｋｔｋ！

This is an abbreviation of ワクワクテカテカ; ワクワク meaning excited or thrilled, テカテカ being an onomatopoeia for eagerly looking at something in anticipation. 

• Ikebukuro has recently become renowned as the street of otaku girls’ support.

A reference to Otome Road in Ikebukuro, which is famous for being the BL Mecca of Tokyo. It's also known for having other things female otaku typically enjoy, such as otome games, male idol franchises, and oshikatsu activities.

• LMAOOOO I’m not doing that kind of performance lol

Original text read "ファーッｗｗ　でもやっぱこれはきついｗｗ." For ファーッｗｗ refer to "LMFAOOO" in these notes.

• Huff huff

Original text is hshs, initialism of ハスハス / hasuhasu which is an onomatopoeia representing excited, heavy breathing when one is flustered, aroused, etc.

• I just had a skibidi nightmare

Original text is "変な夢を見た希ガス" where ~希ガス is a deliberately incorrect substitution of "気がする" (meaning: to feel like smth).

Since this slang is inherently dependent to how the Japanese IME works (i.e. writing text in kana first, then substituting the word or phrase into desired kanji, symbol, other set of kana, etc.) I have practiced my free will to add "skibidi" in the translated text to inflict brain damage. 

You're welcome.

• Obviously!

Original text is ＪＫ！Refer to "Like, use your braincells!" in these notes.

• The ignorant masses

Original text is 愚民; read in Japanese as "gumin."

• Yuria-chan mistaking Otorii station with Kanagawa

Episode 7 of Yuria Onimamushi's story.

The Otorii station is in Ota City of Tokyo, where SEGA's previous headquarters were located. Kanagawa is where SEGA's current headquarters are located.

• Camera enthusiasts

Original text is "カメコ" (read as "Kameko"), shortened form of "カメラ小僧" (lit. camera kid).

A kameko is a person who attends to various events to take photographs of people and/or scenes using specialized equipment. Their targets are frequently but not necessarily: female idols, cosplayers, or promotional models.

• Legal loli

Original text is 合法ロリ.

Refers to a female person who looks as young as a teenager despite being an adult.

• Diddy moment imminent lmao

Original text is 犯罪スレスレで竹不可避.

スレスレ here is denoting something is at the verge of happening.

竹不可避 is a slightly intensive form of 草不可避 (lit. "grass unavoidable") where "grass" here is the Japanese equivalent of English's "lol"

• Lowkirkenuinely

Yes I added this in LMFAOOOOOO

• Officers, these people right there

Original text is 通報しますた, Japanese internet slang used when something criminal is seemingly about to happen (i.e. somewhat equivalent to English's "yes officer, this person right here...").

• Shin-koiwa

The person this episode refers to is Airi Onimamushi, whose story records state that she lives in Koiwa, which is a different place from Shin-koiwa.

Considering that Momoko's story came before Airi's (Momoko's is AMAZON ep.1; Airi's is AMAZON ep.4) and that Ingrid's story records (which is from CRYSTAL ep.1) also refer to Airi as "Diva of Koiwa" it is plausible that Airi's whereabouts have been retconned since Momoko's story was released.

The translation for this episode will still be assuming that Airi Onimamushi lives in Shin-koiwa, but be noted that this is false in all subsequent stories so far.

• Shin-koiwa has that negative vibe to me, something about lots of drunkards

Shin-koiwa station (as well as the district Shin-koiwa itself) is known to have a reputation of having bad public security in the past, which still leaves a dent in the district's reputation today.

• Sisski

Original text reads "姉ニキ", 姉 and ニキ conjoined. 姉 literally means older sister, ニキ is a slang that comes from 兄貴, an honorific term that can be used to refer to an older brother.

This can be approximated as 'sisski', under two points:

- both are altered versions of already existing, well-known internet slang
- both are, by itself, not commonly used slang; they are a somewhat 'forced' alteration of it 

• Nippori station

Nippori station is located in Arakawa City, Tokyo; City that is adjacent to Adachi (where Momoko lives). 

On the other hand Shinagawa city is at the southern side of Tokyo prefecture. (Adachi and Arakawa are at the northern side).

• Buy some cheap fabric

Reference to the Nippori fabric town, close to Nippori station 

• Floating Continent

Reference to the floating continent (Japanese name is 魔大陸; magic continent) from Final Fantasy 6.

• Castle in the Sky

Reference to the movie (天空の城ラピュタ) by Studio Ghibli.