Solo Monia

• Child abuse

• Episode 4. Void is written with overtones of an Oedipus complex.

My mother was called a saint.

She had a growing body despite being a Paragon, and she was called the embodiment of a miracle. Even now, she’s revered as the “Savior” who would lead the Paragon to prosperity.

However, my mother’s tyrannical rule of fear birthed hatred—and some even called her the “Great Sinner” who would bring about the destruction of the world.

The Savior and the Great Sinner.

My mother was of both extremes, but I never met her. She died of an illness shortly after giving birth to me.

My mother… I wonder what kind of person she was. If she was still alive, I would have had a happy life—

“—Aaah, Ghaaaaaa!!!”

But this is reality.

The experiments were repeated almost every day.

A child born from a Paragon with a growing body would surely embody a miracle in the same way. For that reason, even when I was just a small child, I was subjected to repeated experiments over and over.

Day after day. Day after day…

The worst of it was the memory imprinting.

Supposedly, normal Paragon are born with false memories implanted in them—but mine were different.

A machine was attached to my head, and everything was crammed in by force—including the war and Paragon’s history.

I still remember those who tormented me, watching me cry, muttering to themselves over and over—as if to convince themselves that it was necessary for me to follow in my mother’s footsteps.

Pain was my daily life.

Under complete control—unable to even choose death for myself. Someone… Anyone will do.

Hell comes to an abrupt end.

The facility I was being held in was attacked and destroyed by Machines that had gotten wind that my mother’s child was out there.

After that, running away became my daily life.

I was constantly moved to different locations—targeted each time by the moderates that opposed Bathsheba.

What did I do?

I'm sick of being used as an outlet for the anger of people I don't even know.

Without even knowing it, I had become someone else’s burden. They elevate me for their own convenience, but they’ll trash me just like all the other test subjects when they don’t need me anymore.

How can I trust people like that?

I don’t trust anyone anymore. I can’t trust anyone…

Just as I began to think I would live this way until I died, I met someone at the Gorizia Colony.

“I’m not an enemy, Lord Solo.”

Zephyr Nialde.

After running and running… I finally found peace. She was assigned to be my teacher.

When I first saw her, I had a feeling. She’s just like me. 

So I didn’t dislike being with her.

In fact… I even wanted to be with her.

It was a stormy night that led me to think so.

The heavy rain and roaring thunder reminded me of the terror I felt during the experiments.

Even though I know in my mind that it should have been over, my body still trembled uncontrollably. 

Sweat and tears pour over endlessly, and the world before me becomes a mess.

Just as I felt I was losing myself, something warm touched me.

“Lord Solo, everything will be alright. I’m right here with you.”

Before I knew it, I was in Zephyr’s arms. The second I realized it, all the strength left my body.

It’s…warm?

I wonder why?

It was like I was melting—floating.

What…is this?

“I’ll always be here for you. You don’t have to endure it alone anymore, alright?”

All I could do was lean into Zephyr and feel her warmth.

Now that I think about it, maybe she was the “mother” I had wished for.

Gorizia was attacked.

My peaceful life with Zephyr came to an end, and we were transported to the central city of Olympias under the guidance of Cainan.

“This is… where mom lived.”

The window view of the mechanical cityscape was controlled by a sense of chilling eeriness—feeling willfully inorganic.

I could hardly see any people, but when I did, they all walked around with the same expression. It was hard to believe they really lived here.

That was why the slogan, “Prosperity for the Paragon, destruction for the Returnees” displayed on the towering black structure, seemed nothing but ridiculous.

“It seems like a lonely place…”

“You think so too, Zephyr? It’s like they’re all dead, even though they’re alive.”

“There’s a large-scale invasion operation coming up, so you should brace yourselves—Well, you’ll be able to see it any moment now.

Just as Cainan said this, it came into view—a large black mass enshrined in the center of Olympias… The mechanical castle Heraria. 

“Welcome to Olympias. My apologies that I was unable to greet you.”

There to greet us in the audience chamber was a woman smiling brightly—The Saint Rhea Ephrata.

And the man, who kept glaring at me without even attempting to hide his displeasure, was Prime Minister Void.

What’s with this guy… Just looking at this woman smiling is suffocating me, but this guy is even worse… He’s not even trying to hide spite towards me… I hate it…

I’d experienced hostility and malice many times, but the feelings this man was directing at me were something I had never felt before. It was something else entirely. If I kept looking at him, I felt like I would go crazy… It was…

“From today onwards, Olympias will be your new home—”

“Solo…!”

“Oh my, Solo looks tired, doesn’t he? You should rest up today.”

“Well then, I’ll guide the both of you to your room. Follow me–”

“Hold on, woman. Yes, you.”

“Yes, Lord Void?”

“Come to my room later.”

“M-Me…?”

I feel like I know the true nature of what dwells behind his eyes—they see others as nothing more than convenient tools for their own gain… It was the same gaze as those who had treated me like a burden.

I had a bad feeling about Void, so I decided to secretly follow Zephyr.

I was worried about how anxious Zephyr looked when she left, but what bothered me the most was Void’s attitude—like he could use his power to make Zephyr do whatever he wanted.

I kept my distance in the hallway so I wouldn’t be noticed. Zephyr was entering Void’s office just as I looked around the corner. I hurried after her and pressed my ear to the door to listen in on their conversation—

“O-ouch… Stop…” Zephyr moans.

My mind went blank, and I kicked open the door with all of my strength. When I entered the room, I saw Zephyr being pinned right next to me.

Zephyr was a little surprised, and she spoke in a faint voice that seemed as if it would disappear at any moment, “S-Solo…”

“You! Get away from Zephyr right now!”

“You bastard…!”

I moved between me and Void and shoved him away with all of his might.

“Gh–!!

“Don’t you ever touch Zephyr again!”

“Ah…”

Ignoring Void, who was lying on the floor, I took Zephyr’s hand and ran out of the room.

An unpleasant voice echoes endlessly from within the room. I’m really thankful Zephyr wasn’t hurt by such a clown. 

――

――――

“Shit… Good-for-nothing brat… Don’t think I’ll let you get away with this… I’m the superior inheritor of Mother’s blood…!”

Void, still on the ground after having been pushed, continued venting his frustrations to no one in particular. When he rose to his feet, he glared at the open door—his anger becoming even stronger. 

“As a leader, I’m the one who should receive Mother’s affection!! And yet…!”

As Void began haphazardly kicking everything he could,a  portrait of his mother against the wall entered his vision. His body—trembling with rage—suddenly calmed down, and he regained his usual composure.

“Ah, Mother… Mother…”

Void smiles at his mother’s portrait with a look of intoxication, lovingly rubbing his cheek against it.

How long did he spend like that?

“Haa…” a sigh spilled from Void’s lips.

“Ha, haha… This is my castle, I just have to make up a reason to isolate them. No, if anything, If they’re incited ‘again’...”

“ —Good grief, how careless.”

“Aah…? Hmph. Cainan, I don’t remember inviting you.” 

“I happened to be passing by and heard you shrieking like a banshee.”

“Hmph. Seems like you came all the way here on purpose… Don’t tell me you’re the one who set up that incompetence?

Void glares sharply at Cainan, recognizing his intention.

Cainan shrugs it off as if he doesn’t notice.

“You have a bad habit of speculative accusations. I hope this jealousy and infatuation doesn’t wind up burning you.”

“The disrespect! If you continue to mock me, you’ll be punished. I don’t care who you are, you bastard!”

“Well, well… Still, keep in mind. If you try to use your authority just to satisfy your own desires, I won’t be able to just sit back and let it happen."

For just a moment, an intimidating presence broke through Cainan’s composure.

Void felt overpowered, as if he had touched upon Cainan’s true nature he rarely let show.

“Tch!”

“Oh, and one more thing. I didn’t appoint Zephyr of my own volition.”

“What…?”

With that, Cainan left the room.

There’s no place for me in Olympias either.

I understood that all too well after the horrible incident with Void.

We have to think of a way to get out of here as soon as possible.

If I remember correctly… Esther once said the first step is to gather information. 

It took a few days to figure out the state of affairs in this place, but the situation in Olympias was roughly summarized as follows:

First, a large-scale battle with the Machines was on the horizon.

Second, they’re gathering personnel from a variety of places.

Third, there’s a big difference in the level of training each person has.

If we pretend to be new recruits and sneak onto an airship headed for battle, we might be able to escape. It would be hard alone, but the two of us should be able to pull it off.

“—I’m running away.”

“Huh!?”

When I arrived at Zephyr’s room, it was the first thing I said.

“Why are you telling me this? You didn’t think I might tell someone?”

“You wouldn’t do that. I know it.”

There’s no place for us here. I’m sure Zephyr feels the same. She’d run away with me—I knew it.

“How can you be so sure, Solo? I don’t even know who I am anymore…

“Zephyr?”

Seeing her struggling to speak in front of me, I don’t know what to say. The Zephyr I know is kind and warm. She would laugh and forgive me whenever I played pranks. Whenever I really did something wrong, she would properly scold me… She was that kind of person.

She’s never shed a tear in front of me. I’ve always thought of her as “strong”.

“How… How should I love from now on…?”

What should I say at a time like this? I can’t find the words. How do I cheer up Zephyr so she stops crying? Of course, my implanted memories don’t have the answer.

Damn it… I’m so powerless… I want to be stronger…! Stronger…!

So what should I do?

…It was obvious. All I can do is tell her my honest feelings in my own words.

“Zephyr, let's run away together! How can I stay in Olympias forever when it makes you look like this!”

“Huh… But… Why, I…”

“‘But’ and ‘why’ don’t matter! I already decided! I’ll– no, I will*[1] get you out of here, Zephyr! I won’t leave you behind, you’re my one and only family!”

Please, take my hand. I want us to get out of here together.

Zephyr silently stares at my hand, then wipes the tears from the corners of her eyes and takes it with a smile.

"Thank you. For calling me family."

“Of course! As long as Zephyr is with me, I don’t need anyone else.”

I’ll never forget the warmth of her hands as I held them.

Someday, I’m going to become a strong man who can project Zephyr!

“Solo and Zephyr… Escaped!? Aaagh, shit!”

Void sweeps everything off his desk in a fit of rage upon receiving the report from a guard.

Solo’s plan to use the current invasion as cover had been a complete success.

“You’ve got a grasp on their movements, right!?”

“Well, we don’t have confirmation yet, but… We have information that an aircraft is heading from Ephes to Alvir outside of schedule.”

“Alvir, is it…?”

Void bites at his thumbnail and mutters to himself—and then suddenly raises his right arm as if he’d had a revelation.

“Connect with Lotto! He’s heading to Antalya, his unit should be able to catch up!”

“Yes sir! As his Excellency the Prime Minister commands!”

Void returns to biting his nails as the guard leaves the office.

“I won’t let you get away… I’m the only one who deserves Mother’s affection! Not you, Solo!”

　――

　――――

At the same time, a man is visiting Cainan’s office.

With an outfit that catches the eye and a hairdo that makes a bold statement, his appearance is hardly what one would expect from a guard. Somehow, it evokes a sense of the remnants of the old human civilization.

The man salutes with an exaggerated gesture and mysterious expression.

“Joachim Iyamur has arrived~”

“Good grief… You’re the same as always. Are you going to salute improperly until your last breath?”

“Haha, it’s my signature, isn’t it?”

“Hmph… I suppose.”

“So, you called me, a humble mercenary with no future, all the way out to Olympias. Does that mean m'lord himself is celebrating my retirement?”

“You’re the only one I can entrust with this task, since you aren’t attached to anything.”

“Haah… Please indulge me a little, m’lord. I figured that was the case. So, what do you want me to do this time?”

“I want you to track down a certain someone who fled Olympias.”

“A certain someone…? I’ve got a bad feeling about the way you said that. Mind if I step down?”

Without another word, Joachim turns on his heel and heads for the door.

Cainan speaks calmly, as if he had expected this, “...I see, that’s unfortunate. What if I told you the reward for this request is a comfortable estate in Syracuse and upper-class freedom?”

“You should have told me that first, m’lord! I, Joachim Iyamur, will do my best to fulfill any request you make!”

Joachim’s suspicion was replaced with enthusiasm—his demeanor and body language having done a complete 180.

A few days have passed since we left Olympias.

We were traveling through the desert east of Ephes, and we had yet to encounter any pursuers. If sailing stays smooth, we should be able to cross over to the north without any problems.

The navigator onboard the aircraft points to a colony located northeast of the desert.

“If this map is correct, we’re almost to Alvir.”

“Yeah. If we can resupply there, all we have to do is keep heading north. I didn’t think it would go this well, it almost feels too good to be true.

With nothing else to do, Zephyr and I stare at the scenery outside. The red sun sets behind a desert full of reddish brown sand. Night is coming soon.

"I wonder if this will be the last time I see this scenery...... I wish I could have seen more of it."

“Do you like it that much? I’ve seen enough of the desert.”

Zephyr suddenly turned in my direction, her eyes wide as she cried out, “You don’t see the appeal, Solo? The charm of nature?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m just a kid. I wouldn’t get it anyway.”

“Haha, by the time you understand, you’ll be even bigger. I hope my life*[2] lasts long enough to see it...”

“Huh? Zephyr… What’s with that all of a sudden…”

"I just feel a little lonely looking at the scenery."  Zephyr smiles with downcast eyes.

I couldn’t help but blur something out, “Don’t say that. I-I’m… right here, right?”

“Then can you make me a promise? When you’re grown up, let’s come back here together and look at the scenery again.”

“I will, I promise. We’ll definitely come back here. Just the two of us.”

“I’m happy to hear it… Come on, the sun is about to set. Let’s get to bed before it gets cold.”

I don’t know how to respond to Zephyr when her attitude keeps changing, so I replied bluntly.

As I was about to crawl into bed, Zephyr called out to me.

“Solo… Thank you.”

“Y-Yeah!”

Zephyr’s smile in the setting sun was so beautiful that it felt unreal.

The next day, the ship arrived safely in Alvir. We hide the aircraft near a rocky outcrop on the outskirts of town and head into the city.

Zephyr procured supplies and materials, using different stories depending on who she was talking to—saying that she had received secret orders from Cainan.

Even if it's not perfect, it's enough to head to the north. It was easy to forget that we were being chased—the peaceful journey having dulled our senses, but we can't stay here for long.

It would be best to gain as much distance as possible.

“Zephyr, let’s go.”

“Huh? You want to leave already? We came all this way, so why not stay a little longer…"

“Even a little bit of recklessness could be fatal, so–”

"That's right, you two!"

“!?”

Without warning, someone was behind us. I turn around and pull out my gun, aiming it right at…

Huh…?

“What…are you?”

Despite having a gun pointed at him, the man standing in front of me didn’t even attempt to reach for his own gun hanging from his waist. Instead, he was fiddling with his flashy hair.”

“Whoa, whoa! It’s rude to call out to people like that.”

“Huh? But you just did the same thing!”

The man snaps his fingers and begins to introduce himself. I had no idea if he was listening to me or not.

“I’m Joachim, a humble mercenary. You’re Solo and Zephyr, right? M’lord–”

This guy...he was sent to pursue us!

I pulled the trigger on the man who was acting so confident.

“That was close! If I died here, my retirement would have been ruined!”

H-How is he avoiding Barakiel at this distance? He looks and acts like a clown, but he’s more capable than I expected…!

“Solo!? Even if we’re on the outskirts, people will come running if we do this.”

“Sorry, Zephyr, but we have to do something about this guy!”

“Hey, hey, you’re too relaxed! You might as well just announce you guys are here if you’re gonna keep using your names! How careless!”

“I-I don’t want to hear that from you!”

Damn it, who the hell is this guy!

He keeps blabbing on and on but doesn’t actually do anything. It’s throwing me off.

“Come on, I’m not shady, am I? I’m here because Lord Cainan asked me to protect you guys.”

“L-Lord Cainan?”

“That’s right, young lady!”

Joachim hides in the shadows, waving his hands to show he’s harmless.

“You see? I didn’t come here for a shootout. I’m gonna come out now! See, I’m not gonna shoot you, okay? I’m being serious, you know!?”

Shortly after, Joachim emerged from the darkness.

“Come on, why don’t you just come back to Olympias with me?”

“There’s no way I’d go back to that disgusting place.”

“Hey man, what do you wanna run away so badly for? You’re Miss Saint’s kid, right? Surely you can just do whatever you want?”

“That’s why! The people there just want to use me or kill me. I can’t stay there!”

“I see. But do you really think you can keep living like this forever?”

“We’ll keep going. Until we get to a place nobody knows us.”

“Huh…?”

It felt like Joachim’s attitude had changed a little. The light-hearted banter disappeared—the atmosphere as if he was trying to confirm my resolve.

“Pouring your all into something that might not even exist… But do you get it? Living freely is a lot more complicated.”

“Complicated?”

“When you ‘live’, the battle has already begun. You can’t get away from it—even if you make it to the place you’re talking about.”

“T-that’s not true…!”

Well… It might have been.

As long as I’m alive, it’ll follow me… It was the same for the Paragon, the Machines, the Returnees, and the environment. If you let your guard down, you could easily be swallowed up.

Just running away wasn’t enough.

“What’s wrong? Scared and wanna go home? If you use Lord Cainan right, you might be able to have an easier life than one filled with running away, you know?”

“I’m… not going back.”

“So, even if we end up having to fight?”

“I’ll fight… I’ll fight everyone! No matter how many of you show up, we’ll make a home for ourselves!”

I put all my strength into holding Barakiel.

Even if we have to fight here and now, I have to keep Zephyr safe no matter what!

“Haha, you were thinking we would strike at the same time, right?”

“Huh? Who cares? Are we fighting or not, make up your mind!”

Joachim suddenly fell silent, and then his lips turned upward into a smile—as if he was about to start laughing.

“You’re a greenhorn, aren’t you? A total rookie! But I don’t hate that!”

“Huh? What?”

“The naive honesty. Only seeing what’s right in front of you—it’s so punk rock! M’lord’s request is invalid, I’m going with you guys!”

“Huh!?”

“Not to brag or anything, but I’ve seen a few battlefields in my time. I’m a top-notch bodyguard, no doubt about it! With me as your escort, your chance of escaping will skyrocket! My price is super reasonable right now, by the way. You’ve got no choice but to hire me!”

“...So it’s not free?”

“I take what I can get!”

This weirdo wants to be our ally?

“Look, what’s in it for you? Going with us means making an enemy of Cainan—no, of all Paragon, right?”

“What? Am I gonna ruin your romantic getaway with the young lady with my presence?”

“T-That’s not what I meant…!”

“Then it’s decided! The only option is to ride the wave with me!”

“Damn it, I’m all confused… You keep flip flopping. Whose side are you really on?”

“My side, naturally!”

“Haha, geez, I really don’t get you…”

I can tell by the look in his eyes that he’s telling the truth. He was serious about coming with us.

“What do you think, Zephyr?”

“It’s alright with me. If you trust him, then it must be a safe bet.”

“Now we’re talking! Allow me to formally introduce myself—I’m Joachim Iyamur.”

“I’m Solo. Solo Monia.”

“I’m Zephyr Nialde.”

“Is that so? Nice to meet you, ‘Niania’!”

“Nia… What are you talking about?”

“Both of your names have ‘Nia’ in them, so it’s perfect, don’t you think? Anyway, pleasure to meet you!”

He offers up a handshake, and I accept.

From this point on, this thoughtlessly boisterous man was part of our journey. He threw me off pace, and he’s been trying to give me weird nicknames for a while now. It was so annoying.

But…

I didn’t dislike this feeling.

*[1] The original line 僕が、いや、“俺”が！as I’ll– no, I will…

English does not use pronouns in this same way. Up to this point, Solo uses “boku,” a masculine and boyish pronoun. He stops himself mid sentence and swaps to “ore,” another masculine pronoun—but one with a more arrogant or rough connotation. The usage here is meant to convey Solo’s personal growth and him no longer being just a scared and naive child.

*[2] 耐用年数 as “life”

This term refers to the service life of a machine. Multiple Paragon characters use this when referring to their lifespans.