Zephyr Nialde

• Episode 4. Depiction of sexual assault. 

  • This same instance has incestuous implications. Void is written with overtones of an Oedipus complex.

“Paragons” and “Returnees” both appeared on the Earth after humanity’s demise. Created by the Machines that control the surface, the two opposing sides continue to fight—unable to come to an agreement with one another.

Contrary to most expectations—the war shifted in the favor of the Paragons, and the subjugation of the central portion of the continent seemed only a matter of time...... or so it seemed, until this superiority came to an end in a way neither side anticipated.

With the death of Saint Bathsheba—the Paragon leader.

Fifteen years had passed since the battle that began with Lena Ishmael's return from the Electronic Paradise, and the struggle for control was about to enter a new phase.

For me—Zephyr Nialde—my days begin by waking up from a nightmare.

The content of the dream is always the same—I simply watch a girl, her skin a sickly pale, scream and sob.

I can’t see her face, and I can’t make out what she’s saying.

When did it start?

The content of the dream changed.

Until then, I had only been watching her from afar—but now the distance between us had closed. I could understand the words she was screaming.

And—she was looking at me so intently.

“Haa… Haa…”

I woke up on the hard bed of the aircraft. I wiped my sweaty forehead with my hand, sat up, and looked at the view outside the window.

"Thank goodness... We made it through to the morning safely again."

It's been several days since we escaped from Olympias, but we have yet to run into any pursuers.

“Hm…”

I feel something move behind me. It seems like Solo had tossed over in his sleep.

“When you’re asleep, you look just like any other boy…”

I hope I can escape to the north with Solo without incident.

“Solo… No matter what happens… I’ll protect you.” 

“Hehe. I’ll protect you no matter what too.”

I stroke Solo's pure white hair as if to soothe him while he mumbles in his sleep.

That’s right, we shouldn’t be so timid.

We decided that we were going to live together.

It seems that I was born into this world by the hands of Lord Cainan, a Paragon Hardline military officer.

I say “seems” because only the memories of those days are missing.

A Paragon’s appearance is fixed from the time they are born. However, unlike other Paragons, my body continues to grow slowly.

My heavy body is the best proof. I’m a Paragon. That… should be right.

What exactly am I?

I have no way of knowing that now.

No matter how much I ask Lord Cainan, he always just evades the question by saying, "You’re special."

Words like that alone won't relieve my anxiety.

...I want to know. The meaning of my birth.

However, one day, while I was carrying this uncertain feeling, Lord Cainan said to me, “I have a task for you, Zephyr. Come with me.”

“A task…? I'm not sure there's much I can do for you…”

“I said follow me.”

“I understand.”

I couldn't live without Lord Cainan’s protection, so I didn't have the right to reject him.

I followed his instructions to the residence of Esther Yagrush, the lady who governed the remote city of Gorizia. It was one of the cities our ancestors recovered in exchange for blood during the last war.

"We've been waiting for you. Please come in."

Two guards welcomed me into a luxuriously decorated room. Waiting there was Lady Esther and a white-haired boy with a downcast look on his face.

“It’s nice to meet the two of you.”

"Esther, is this the boy you mentioned?

“Yes,” Esther spoke with a calm expression on her face. “This is Solo Monia, the miracle child left to this world Saint Bathsheba, who binds us Paragons together.”

“L-Lady Bathsheba’s child…?”

"Yes. So, Cainan, have you told Zephyr the details yet?"

“Not yet.”

“Well, then I’ll tell you. Zephyr Nialde, attendant of Cainan, you are hereby appointed to be Master Solo's instructor.”

“Y-yes...huh!?"

Me…? I’m in charge of his education? I don't even know much about the outside world, so what can I possibly teach him?

“I’ll leave the rest to you. Please don’t be careless.”

"Nice to meet you, Zephyr."

"W-wait a second, Lord Cainan, Lady Esther! Why should I... surely there is someone better than me?"

"No. There's no one more suitable than you. Please contact me if you need anything, alright?"

With those words, the two of them left her behind.

"No one more suitable than me…? What's going on...?"

“Hey.”

“Hyaa!”

I turned around at the sudden voice. Before I knew it, Lord Solo had grabbed the hem of my clothes.

"Ah, my apologies, Lord Solo! I'm Zephyr Nia—"

“—I know. Hey, are you an enemy?”

I was pierced by Lord Solo’s direct gaze and gasped. There was a deep swell of emotion in his red eyes.

Pain, sadness, resignation, and anger.

An endlessly deep red, as if every kind of furry was mixed together. I had no way of guessing how much was hiding in his young body.

“Hey, what are you thinking?”

“I—”

I stared back at him with a strong heart, trying not to be consumed by my emotions. I felt like if I looked away from him now, he would never trust me again.

“I’m not an enemy, Lord Solo.”

“...I see. Nice to meet you, Zephyr."

How much time has passed?

Lord Solo returned to his chair without changing his expression.

It seems that perhaps… I have Lord Solo’s approval. But, can I really serve as an educator?

Since becoming Lord Solo’s tutor, my daily life has changed drastically. 

It’s difficult to communicate with the taciturn young lord. 

He leaves his clothes scattered around, and even when I point it out to him, he acts like it's something his caretaker should do. He couldn't even take care of himself properly.

I can’t speak much on other people, but Lord Solo seemed more naive than most.

“Jeez… I never thought I'd have to deal with this much trouble…”

But to be honest, I don't dislike these days.

Compared to when I was just living under Lord Cainan, my life feels so much more fulfilling now.

And I truly believed that if I took Lord Solo seriously, maybe one day he would open up to me and we would become closer. 

The days were passing by at a dizzying pace, but they changed pace with a single trigger.

It happened on the night of a storm.

I woke up to a violent thunderstorm. I was worried about Lord Solo, so I headed to his bedroom. I heard a faint sound and knocked on the door, but there was no reply.

“Lord Solo!? Please excuse me…!”

I turned on the light and looked around the room, and found Lord Solo not in his bed—but curled up in the corner.

“Lord Solo? Are you alright, Lord Solo!?”

“Aah… sniff… Zephyyyyr…”

When Lord Solo looked up, he was crying.

His brusque attitude was gone. He wasn’t looking at me with his sharp, questioning gaze.

Before me was a young terrified boy acting his age.

“Lord Solo, everything will be alright. I’m right here with you.”

I held him gently, as if I were touching something fragile, and felt the touch of his small hands on my back. Seeing him struggling so desperately for me, I felt something strong well up inside me.

I want to protect this child.

I don't know what happened, but I felt like I had to be the only one on this child's side.

—The days after that went by in a blink of an eye.

I had an audience with Lady Esther and volunteered to become Lord Solo’s personal guard.

Since that stormy night, Solo has come to dislike me calling him “lord," and little by little he has started to open up.

According to Esther, our relationship is like that of siblings, or even that of a parent and child.

With those words, I felt like I had found the meaning of my existence.

When Solo was thirteen years old, Gorizia was attacked. Thanks to Esther, we escaped death, but the mansion was burned down and we were forced to flee Gorizia.

“There’s… no place for me here either…”

“Solo…”

Through his pained expression, all I could do was hold Solo close.

After the attack, Lord Cainan took us to the mechanical city of Olympias. For Solo’s safety, it was best to protect him there… but, for some reason, I couldn’t help but feel uneasy.

“Welcome to Olympias. My apologies that I was unable to greet you.”

The woman who greeted us was Saint Rhea—the successor to Saint Bathsheba. She was another of the children that Saint Bathsheba left behind.

“From today onwards, Olympias will be your new home.”

Rhea’s gaze fell upon Solo. He had been fine until a few moments ago, but now he was clearly exhausted.

“Solo…!”

“Oh my, Solo looks tired, doesn’t he? You should rest up today.”

“Ah… Thank you so much for your thoughtfulness.”

“Well then, I’ll guide the both of you to your room. Follow me–”

“Hold on, woman. Yes, you.”

The man—Prime Minister Void—who had been standing next to Lady Rhea and glaring at Solo, interrupted Lord Cainan and pointed his finger in my direction.

He had the same white hair and magenta eyes as Solo.

“Yes, Lord Void?”

“Come to my room later.”

“M-Me…?”

“Come on, Zephyr. Is your plan to leave Lord Solo like this?”

“Ah… Lady Rhea, Lord Void, please excuse me.”

After bowing and leaving the audience room, I escorted Solo to his bedroom. Then I made my way to Void’s room, where he was waiting for me.

“Lord Void, I’ve arrived. It’s Zephyr.”

“Come in.”

“My apologies for the intrusion.”

I close the door behind me and find Void, who had been in the center of the room, now standing right in front of me.

“Huh?”

I instinctively moved to brace myself, but both of my arms were pinned against the door before I could do so. He was so close I could feel his breath—and I couldn’t do anything to resist.

“S-stop it, Lord Void!! Aah–!”

From amid his disheveled hair, Void’s eyes were filled with an emotion so intense it sent a chill down my spine.

“Why… Why him…” 

“Huh– What are you talking about…?”

“I have the right to Mother’s love too!! I do!! It’s mine–! And yet–! Such a useless brat!!”

“O-ouch… Stop…”

“How did he get his hands on you? No, did you “deceive” him? Shit! That face, that voice…! I’ll make you mine right now!! Mine! Only mine!”

“—Ah!”

I feel heat.

When I look at him, I see his tongue stickily crawling along my neck between warm sighs.

I need to call for help, but I can’t make any sound through my fear and disgust.

No… I’m scared… Solo… Help–

And then, a violent sound echoes across the room. I turn to the side and find Solo standing there—panting and glaring at Void.

“S-Solo…!”

“You! Get away from Zephyr right now!”

“You bastard…!”

Solo moved between me and Void and shoved him away with all of his might.

“Gh–!!

“Don’t you ever touch Zephyr again!”

“Ah…”

Solo took me by the hand and led me out of the room.

“AaaAAAAGHHH!! MOTHEEEER!!!”

Void’s shrill voice echoes behind us, spewing hatred at Solo like a broken machine.

After fleeing Void’s room, we were able to safely return to Solo’s.

“Thank you, Solo…”

“Zephyr, are you hurt?”

“No, I’m fine, I’m fine.”

Perhaps because I felt relief at the sight of Solo’s face, I lost all my strength and collapsed to the floor.

“Zephyr!? I knew it, you’re hurt somewhere…”

“No, I’m just tired…”

“But when you look at me like that, I get worried.”

“Solo…”

“My hands are shaking, so I can’t do much… but… I’ll stay here with you until you’re not scared anymore.”

Solo’s gentleness felt overwhelmingly comforting to me at that moment.

…Why was Void so fixated on us? I have to find out what he knows.

Maybe the secret of my body is hidden in the answer…

The next day, I went to see Lord Cainan.

“Lord Cainan, please tell me about myself. About Solo and Void.”

“Hmm… I guess I misjudged Void. I didn’t know he would go so far. I thought he cared more about keeping up appearances.”

“So… You’ll tell me?”

Cainan speaks after a long pause, the tone of his voice uneasy.

“It can’t be helped. If you stay here, it’s only a matter of time before Void lets everything slip.”

“T-Thank you so much!”

“But, the reality isn’t a heartwarming story. Are you still prepared to hear it?

I nod slowly in response to Lord Cainan’s question.

“Now that I know this isn’t a safe haven, I have to know. I have to protect this child from danger!”

“I see, so it really is unavoidable… I’ll answer your questions.”

Lord Cainan gave me the answers little by little so that I could come to terms with them.

My birth was the result of one of the measures taken to revive the late Saint Bathsheba after she passed away from an illness.

Originally, I was merely a vessel meant to welcome Saint Bathsheba. They had tried to revive her by overwriting my biological information and implanting her memories into my body.

“Am I… a clone of Saint Bathsheba?”

The scale of the truth that had been hidden away shook the very core of “my” existence.

“Don’t worry, the measure ended in failure. Although your biological makeup matches Lady Bathsheba’s, your consciousness is completely your own. None of the templates were able to fully replicate Lady Bathsheba.”

“What…? Are there others besides me?”

“Many of the candidates were discarded, but as far as I know, you and Rhea are the only ones still alive. Rhea was raised as a saint simply because of her leadership qualities.”

“So… If something were to happen to Lady Rhea, I’ll be next…”

“No one knows. I’m sure Void wouldn’t keep quiet about it. Well, that’s all there is to the story. You should get some rest.”

“Ah… Understood…”

I manage to return to my room—doing my best to stop my body from trembling.

“I’m only being kept alive as a spare…” I leaned back in bed and muttered to myself.

I didn’t even have the purpose or implanted memories that other Paragons are born with. My body was alien and grew like the Returnees…

I finally understood. The true meaning of the words Esther had once spoken to me.

“Ah… So that’s why I was ‘suitable’...”

Ever since the incident with Void, Solo has been acting strange.

Sometimes, it seems like Solo is particularly sensitive to the emotions of people around him.

Perhaps he sensed something in the hatred Void directed at him.

“If I was his real mother, I wonder if I would have been able to be there for him…”

While I was lost in thought, I suddenly heard the door open.

"Zephyr, are you still awake?"

“Solo? What are you doing up this late?”

"I wanted to tell you something I've been thinking about for a while."

Solo sat on the bed and spoke bluntly, “I’m running away.”

“Huh!?”

He said it casually—as if he were merely going out for a walk. But his serious gaze made it clear he wasn’t joking.

“Why are you telling me this? You didn’t think I might tell someone?”

“You wouldn’t do that. I know it.”

“How can you be so sure, Solo?” I couldn’t help but blurt out at Solo’s confident response. “I don’t even know who I am anymore… Hg–”

"Zephyr?"

I’m just a vessel. I can’t even believe in myself being me. I don’t understand it. I can’t stop the tears from overflowing. 

“How… How should I live from now on…?”

Ah, he would be appalled to hear that. To think I’d exposed such a pathetic side of myself to Solo… Surely he’ll be fed up with me.

But the words he said weren’t the ones I expected, “Zephyr, let's run away together! How can I stay in Olympias forever when it makes you look like this!”

“Huh… But… Why, I…”

“‘But’ and ‘why’ don’t matter! I already decided! I’ll—no, I will*[1] get you out of here, Zephyr! I won’t leave you behind, you’re my one and only family!”

He extends his hand.

He was so small when we first met.

He had grown so big without me even realizing it…

I squeezed Solo's hand tightly and smiled.

"Thank you. For calling me family."

“Of course!”

On that day, we made a promise to each other—to escape Olympias and survive. Just the two of us.

Solo came up with a plan of escape—to infiltrate a landing craft heading to the battlefield while disguised as a soldier.

With Olympias currently occupied with an invasion of Machine defense lines, there were large transport ships constantly coming in and out. If we can conceal ourselves as soldiers, it'll be ours.

After that, we would just have to procure another ship from somewhere else.

Our destination had already been decided. The northern territory—uncontrolled by any forces since the environmental restoration had already been completed. That was our goal.

If we could make it that far, there would be nothing to hold us back.

—The time to put our plan to action came in the blink of an eye.

We hid ourselves among the soldiers and boarded a landing craft bound for Alvir. The ship departed without incident, and we were able to leave safely during a supply stop at Ephes.

So far, everything was going smoothly. Now all that was left to acquire another ship—

“Hey, what are you two doing?”

“Hgh!”

I turned towards the direction of the voice behind me. It was a guard who seemed to be on patrol.

Only one opponent…

But we can't afford to make a fuss here.

“State your rank and affiliation. If you can’t answer—”

“...Ghh.”

The guard reached for his gun.

I stopped Solo, who moved to reach for his own.

At this point, I have no choice but to steel myself—!

“We’re acting under secret orders of Lord Cainan—a military officer serving under Saint Rhea. We're in pursuit of terrorists who attacked the Gorizia Colony and fled north."

“Terrorists? I haven’t received any information like that. Just as I thought, you two…”

“...”

N-No, Zephyr, you have to act confident!

“Hold on, well, it’s understandable. We haven’t even been able to identify the culprit yet. Especially since the crime took place in one of the remote colonies.”

“Oh…? Let me get some confirmation.”

“Are you sure? If we take too long, it’ll allow the terrorists to escape. That would be inconvenient for Lord Cainan, so I’ll say it again. We’re in a hurry.”

“Hmm…”

The guard glared at us with a sour look on his face.

 If I back down now, it’s over. I have to convince him I’m telling the truth!

“Still, I’ll have to get confirmation…”

“–That won’t be an issue.”

Just as the guard opened his mouth to speak, another man’s voice appeared from thin air.

“Who the hell are you?”

“Excuse me, I’m Nadine. I’m under the command of General Sargon, the commander of the Southern Army.”

Nadine, a man with black hair and brown skin, appeared before the guard.

He spoke to the guard in a gentle tone, “These two are cooperating with me. I have an official letter from His Excellency right here, would you like to review it?”

The guard looked at the ostentatiously presented letter in silence, then he pulled his hand away from his gun.

“Is that right? I’m sorry for doubting you.”

“Haha, don’t worry about it. If anything, your suspicion is proof of your excellence as a guard.”

After exchanging a few words, the guard left.

…Were we… in the clear..?

“I wonder what that was about…”

“Zephyr, come on! Let’s go!”

“Uh, right…”

We took our leave and found a small airship at a nearby landing site—and then we were able to leave Ephes safely.

Even when I checked on radar, there were no signs of pursuers.

“...Now I can finally rest easy… Ah?”

“Zephyr, come over here!”

Solo, who had been by my side until then, was gazing down at the scenery visible from the ship. Urged by him, I set the ship to autopilot and joined him at the window.

“Wow… It’s beautiful…”

It was my first time ever seeing a city.

A group of inorganic structures illuminated by the light of the sun, a barrier surrounding the city, and endlessly sprawling greenery.

I was so engrossed by the sight that I forgot what I had been talking about. Our existence and our anxieties all seemed so insignificant… There was such power in the landscape.

I don’t know what lies ahead. I don’t know if the north is truly peaceful.

Still… I believed that the two of us could face any hardship together.

“To the north!”

Solo's smile was bright and full of hope.

Seeing him smile in a way befitting of his age, I made a quiet vow in my heart.

I won’t ever let anyone take that light—those feelings—ever again.

Surprisingly, our escape plan went off without a hitch. I wasn’t completely free of anxiety, but I was glad to be out of that place.

Soon after our journey began, the sun began to set—the scenery becoming more bleak as time passed.

Solo had been on edge the entire time and fell asleep shortly after. He must have been trying so hard…

Perhaps that was why I couldn’t help but feel lonely—alone in the cockpit—despite the ship only being built for four people.

“Maybe I’m tired too… I should probably rest for a bit.”

The room was so small it could hardly be called a bedroom, and Solo was curled up on the bed. It hardly fit the space, and it seemed to have been added as an afterthought.

“Solo, are you awake…?”

He didn’t answer.

It was hard to see in the dim lighting, but Solo was trembling.

“Are you alright?”

“Ah… Zephyr…”

I could feel his pleading gaze. Despite everything, he couldn’t help but feel anxious too.

“I’ll sit with you.”

“Hey… Zephyr, what are you doing…?”

“I’ll show you. I’m shaking like you are, see? I’m scared too, but we aren’t alone. We’ll live together. Even if one of us isn’t strong enough, the two of us together can do anything, don’t you think?”

“Aah… Thank you.”

“Of course.”

I gently pat Solo on the head, and we both fell asleep huddled together.

――

――――

When I woke up, I was in a foggy space where everything felt unstable. I couldn’t tell where I was. My sense of direction was off.

“Is this… a dream?”

If it was, my senses were strangely clear.

In the distance, I hear sobbing.

“No way!?”

I ran towards the sound, and the wailing got louder and louder.

Eventually, I realized that the voice didn’t belong to Solo, but to a girl.

Before I knew it, she was in front of me. Although the fog blurred her outline, I could see her crouched down—her head hung low as she sobbed.

“Aah… Uaah… Aaaaah…”

Even though she wasn’t raising her voice, she was getting louder and louder—until she suddenly stopped crying and began to mutter something instead.

“...It’s only me…”

I couldn’t look away. I couldn’t move at all.

Without a sound, the girl rose to her feet. Her white hair obscures her form, but I could tell her body was morbidly thin and her skin a sickly pale.

“Why… Why only me… I hate this…”

I can’t make any sound!?

She approached me slowly. A woman—completely white. Even though I was still far away, her voice rang out clearly in my head—crawling and running its tongue all over me.

“...Why… Why me… I don’t… I don’t want to die…!”

The woman’s head snapped up, and our eyes met.

No, it’s not that. They were bright red holes—cavities merely in the shape of eyes. Bright red tears bubbled up from within them.

I can’t look away. I can’t even blink.

“Ha… Haha… Everyone… Everyone. Everyone. Die…. Die… Die… Die!!”

The eyeless woman approached me slowly.

No! Stay away! Ah… Aah…! It’s so loud, The noise. The squelching. Stop! Stop! Stop!

My eyes meet her again.

“Hurry… come… this way…?”

“Aaaaaaaaahhh!!!”

“Z-Zephyr!?!? W-What’s wrong?!”

“She’s here! She’s coming!!”

“There’s nobody here! Calm down, Zephyr! Please listen to me!”

“...Ah… S-Solo…?”

“Yeah, it’s me. Everything’s okay now, so you don’t have to be scared anymore.”

“Ah… Aaah…”

Solo hugged me tightly. So tightly that his nails dug into me. So closely—as if to say he wouldn’t let anyone take me away from him.

The face of the woman I saw in my dream came back to me.

The red tears settled on her mouth formed a distorted crescent moon.

*[1] The original line 僕が、いや、“俺”が！as I’ll– no, I will…

English does not use pronouns in this same way. Up to this point, Solo uses “boku,” a masculine and boyish pronoun. He stops himself mid sentence and swaps to “ore,” another masculine pronoun—but one with a more arrogant or rough connotation. The usage here is meant to convey Solo’s personal growth and him no longer being just a scared and naive child.