Ponsuke 

“If you keep blathering bullshit, I’ll rip every last hair off your body!”

In a room inside a certain building, a voice echoes through the space. It is rough in tone but lacking any real menace.

“I-I’m sorry! I’ll have the money by next week! I will come up with it, so please, just this once!”

“Just this once? I’m sick of hearing that. You borrow, you pay back. Can’t you even manage that, huh?”

The cat-man, crying, was prostrating himself before the tanuki, who sat heavily on the sofa.

Behind him, a fox stood waiting.

But paying no heed to that, the tanuki stomped down on the cat’s head.

“Besides, if bowing your head could solve everything, we wouldn’t need the police or moneylenders, would we?”

“Well, if you can’t pay it back, I’ll introduce you to a place where you can work. It might be a little intense, but you’ll make good money.”

“W-wait, please! I swear, just this once! This is the last time-“

The tanuki kicked the cat in the face as he looked up.

The pain was so intense that the cat winced and crouched down on the spot.

“Beggars can’t be choosers.”

“B-but…”

“Hey, Konzawa. Looks like I’m gonna get a really nice shamisen. I’m thinking of showing it off at the upcoming banquet.”

“Yes, President Ponsuke. I think we will be able to secure a good one.”

Konzawa, who had been standing behind Ponsuke, replied matter-of-factly.

“Well, I’ll leave the rest to you.”

“N-nooooo!”

The animals in the office subdued the cat as he tried to run away.

The cat struggled desperately to escape, but his resistance was in vain, and he was captured.

“S-stop it! Let me go! Let me go! Please, have mercy on meeeee!”

“Money is more important than life. Remember that well.”

The cat was dragged out of the office by men in black suits.

Ponsuke, the moneylender.

A villain who lends money at exorbitant interest rates and, when borrowers can’t pay back, he sells them off as if he’d been waiting for just that.

There’s no one in the underworld who doesn’t know his name.

“Heh heh heh, I’ve reeled in another nice mark; I’m really raking it in. Now, who should I pick up next?”

“How about this one?”

Konzawa points at Ponsuke, who is letting out a vulgar laugh as he scans his list of borrowers.

Konzawa is one who has risen to become Ponsuke’s right-hand man in just two years.

It is also his job to “take care” of those who cannot repay their debts.

“This means a whole lotta cash will be coming my way again. Just a little more, a bit more, and I’ll be able to buy that…”

Ponsuke harbored a grand ambition that he hadn’t shared with anyone.

That was…

One day, Ponsuke was seen striding confidently into a real estate office.

In the room where the owner led him, a map of islands currently for sale was spread out on the table.

“There’s even more variety than I’d expected. I guess no one’s buying islands like these.”

“Well, it’s not exactly a cheap purchase.”

Ponsuke had been saving up to buy one thing.

And the thing was… an island.

He had more than enough money on hand to invest.

But nothing really struck a chord with him.

Then, one day, an advertisement caught his eye.

“Honestly, it’s no exaggeration to say that if it weren’t for that ad, I wouldn’t be where I am today.”

“An ad? Was that what made you decide to buy an island?”

“That’s right! My dream is to develop the island I buy into a resort and rake in the cash! And I’m going to build a massive resort complex that’ll even surpass Seapolis!”

What Ponsuke had seen was an ad for a resort near the ocean. When he saw it, a shock ran through him as if he’d been struck by lightning.

That’s it, the one.

“…That’s the story. Isn’t there a nice island out there that seems reasonably easy to develop?”

“In that case, how about this one?”

“Hmm… Nope. Who’d willingly come to an island this far from the mainland? Next!”

“If you’re looking for something closer, I’d recommend this one.”

“Let me see… No, no, too expensive! How many years would it take to recoup my investment at this rate?!”

“In that case, I don’t think I have much else…”

As the shopkeeper said this and spread out the island catalog, Ponsuke’s eyes landed on one entry.

When he picked it up, there it was: the ideal island he’d been looking for.

“An hour by plane from Gunma!? Thirty minutes by boat from Ibaraki!? F-for that price! This is what I call great value for money! I’ll buy this one!”

“B-but that island has a certain probl-“

“Are you telling me you can’t sell it to me?! You spread this out right here, don’t tell me it’s already been sold to someone else! Don’t give me that bullshit!”

“N-no, nothing like that!”

“Well then, it’s settled! I never expected to find such a great deal!”

“O-okay. Let’s go ahead with the paperwork…”

“Heh heh heh! It’s not just Gunma anymore. I will be able to attract customers from Ibaraki, too! For a chance like this to just fall into my lap… I’m such a lucky tanuki!”

Ponsuke laughed heartily, as if he’d just conquered the world.

However, the island he’d bought was a place with a dark past.

But he had no idea at that moment.

A few days after purchasing the island…

Ponsuke is heading there on his private yacht to inspect it.

A team from the company he’d hired to handle the resort construction project had already arrived to begin renovations.

“Ah yes, that real estate guy said something… what was that all about, anyway?”

As he steered his cruiser, the island gradually came into view.

“Man, it’s a nice-looking island. This might actually have been a great buy.”

Just as Ponsuke was heading straight for the island, a group of creatures charged toward his cruiser, kicking up a spray of water.

“Hmm, hmm- w-what’s that!?”

“Outta way, old man~~!”

“S-sharks!?”

Surprisingly, it was a school of sharks.

Just as they were about to ram the cruiser at full speed to destroy it…

It soared into the air.

“W-what!? The cruiser just flew through the air!?”

Ponsuke steered the cruiser closer to the stunned group of sharks.

“I could’ve dropped it right on top of you guys if I wanted. But I’ll let you off the hook this time.”

“W-what a guy. This tanuki is way too crazy.”

“By the way, you know what’ll happen if you keep doing whatever you want on my turf, right?”

“Tch! Don’t get all cocky just because you dodged it once, old man. Next time, I’ll blow a hole right through that boat, so mark my words!”

With their parting shot, the group of sharks swam away.

Ponsuke let out a deep sigh, lit his cigar, and picked up his cell phone while muttering to himself.

“It’s me. I’m craving some fresh kamaboko…”

Upon arriving at the island, Ponsuke docked his cruiser at the pier.

Seeing the cruiser, several animals lined up in front of him.

“Ponsuke-san, we’ve been waiting for you!”

“Oh, thanks for coming out to greet me. Looks like you’re already getting started. I know it’s gonna be tough from here on out, but I’ll be counting on you to work hard and keep things moving.”

“Yes, sir!”

“Well, I’ll be resting on the beach. If any problems come up, I’ll be over there. Also, um… you two over there, what’re your names?”

Ponsuke pointed at a pomeranian and a tabby cat standing in line.

“I-I’m Pometa!”

“I’m Torakichi!”

“Alright, PomeTora. Could you bring me some drinks later? Make sure they’re ice-cold.”

“Gotcha!”

“Thanks.”

As Ponsuke was relaxing on the beach, Pometa and Torakichi came running up, looking flustered.

“P-Ponsuke-saaan! W-We’ve got a big problem!”

“What’s the matter? Why are you so flustered? Did a snake bite your balls or something?”

“No, not that. We were patrolling the construction site to check for safety, and over there, we saw some birds that didn’t look like they were involved in the project…”

“They looked shady, no doubt!”

“What? Looks like they don’t know whose turf this is. Hey, show me the way!”

“Roger!”

The two stepped in front of Ponsuke to lead the way, but…

“Pometa, this is when you do the pointing safety check.”

“Gotcha. I’ll show you what I’ve been practicing!”

Pometa and Torakichi began muttering to themselves under their breath as they started checking the area ahead of Ponsuke.

“”Underfoot, check!””

“Let’s go, Ponsuke-san!”

“Oh my, what a strange duo…”

Ponsuke was led to the scene by Pometa and Torakichi.

Waiting there was a flock of birds who looked like a real rough group.

“What are you staring at, unc? We’re not some kind of sideshow.”

“Yeah. We’re tired from our long journey. If you’ve got nothing to do here, get lost.”

The birds spread their large wings and flapped them, as if to intimidate Ponsuke and the others.

After hearing what they had to say, Ponsuke began to think.

“I see. A long journey, so they’re a group of smugglers. If I can make money off a flock this big, it’ll be a real windfall. I’d better play it nice here and secure some future customers.”

“What are you grumbling about, unc?”

“Nothing, sorry for interrupting your break.”

Unlike usual, Ponsuke didn’t try to intimidate them; instead, he spoke in a low, polite tone.

That was another side of him, the one he showed first when meeting customers.

“I’m Ponsuke, and I happen to own this island.”

“Huh? You’re the owner of this island?”

“Actually, I’m planning to build a massive resort around here. So, I’m not telling you to leave, but it’d really help if you could just go somewhere else for a bit.”

“Whoa, did you hear that? This tanuki says he bought the island!”

“Are you crazy? There’s no way it can be. The proof, show us the proof!”

“I-it’s true. Ponsuke-san is the owner of this island!”

Pometa and Torakichi interrupt the birds’ conversation.

“You fools. No one would buy an island surrounded by sharks like this.”

“The only use for it is for couriers like us to take a break.”

“Ah, those sharks, huh? I see, so that’s what the real estate agent was talking about.”

“Speaking of which, I haven’t seen any of those sharks today.”

“Because I’ve chased them off.”

Having heard Ponsuke’s story, the birds all burst out laughing at once.

“If you’re gonna use your tanuki magic, at least do a better job. Who’s gonna believe a joke like that?”

“Seriously. Keep your jokes to your face, tanunc.”

Saying that, one of the birds spat at Ponsuke and they all flew off.

“P-Ponsuke-san, are you okay!?”

“…”

Without a word, Ponsuke wiped his sunglasses, pulled a cigar from his pocket, and lit it.

“U-um, Ponsuke-san…?”

“Hmm… Well, I’m craving some yakitori tonight…”

Ponsuke took out his cell phone, made another call to someone, and walked away.

Pometa and Torakichi could do nothing but silently watch him walk away.

“Yakitori…? Did you prepare high-protein, low-calorie chicken for us, since we’re working out…?”

“Whoaaaaa, for reaaaal?! Ponsuke-san! I looooove liver!”

Whatever they were thinking, Pometa and Torakichi followed eagerly after Ponsuke.

There is a remote island about 30 minutes off the coast of Ibaraki Prefecture.

Gone are the days when this was merely a resting spot for migratory birds.

Now, it has become a resort where many people spend their holidays seeking relaxation and entertainment.

It’s called Ponsuke Resort, commonly known as PSR.

It became the talk of the town because visitors could enjoy the latest entertainment from Seapolis right here on land, and it got off to a fairly smooth start.

People called this place The Second Seapolis.

“Heh heh heh, I’m really raking it in with all these customers. I’m a genius for setting my sights on this place!”

Ponsuke, the resort’s manager, laughed heartily while watching the crowds enjoying themselves on the surveillance cameras.

Standing next to him was Konzawa. As the resort’s assistant manager, he was providing various forms of support.

“If we keep boosting sales and use the profits to build a leisure facility for Ibaraki residents, we’ll be raking it in even more!”

“Yeah, definitely.”

Just as Konzawa nodded in agreement with Ponsuke’s words, the office phone rang, and he picked it up.

“Hello… Yes…”

“Still, things are going so smoothly it’s almost scary. But well, at this rate, recouping my initial investment in no time at all-“

“W-what did you say!?”

“Whoa!? Why are you suddenly yelling like that!?”

Konsawa hung up the receiver and turned back to Ponsuke, looking pale.

Seeing Konzawa’s grave expression, Ponsuke must have realized something was seriously wrong, as his own face tensed.

“Ponsuke-san, actually, that call just now was from someone in the government…”

“W-wait a second! This resort operates completely above board! There’s no way they’d send an inspection team!”

“N-no, that’s not it. Actually, it seems there was a plane crash off the coast near this island.”

“What? Don’t give me a scare like that. So? What does that have to do with us?”

“They want to use this place as the base for the search operation! And on top of that, they won’t pay a single cent for their stay during that time…!”

“I see… Na-NANIIIIIIIIII!?”

A few days have passed since the plane crash.

In the end, concerned about how the resort would look to the public, Ponsuke reluctantly turned PSR into the rescue team’s headquarters.

Naturally, normal operations were impossible, so he stayed at his home in Gunma for the time being.

Ponsuke frowned as he watched the news reports about the accident that kept airing on TV.

“Here’s the latest on the plane crash that occurred the other day. This plane was chartered by an AniTuber who’s been trending online-“

Before the announcer could finish, Ponsuke turned off the TV.

“What a huge pain. Because of some streamer out there, my business is going down the drain.”

Ponsuke clutched his head, facing the mountain of paperwork spread out on his desk.

He’d been dealing with invoices and paperwork from all over since this morning, but the pile showed no sign of getting any smaller.

“Man, I’m really in a bind… I can’t reopen for business until the rescue operation is over…”

“There are government relief funds for times like this… but if anyone finds out I applied, I’ll never be able to survive in the underworld again…”

For Ponsuke, anyone who did that sort of thing in the underworld was either an incompetent who couldn’t make a living or a spineless, penniless coward.

“Anyway, this is Konzawa’s job, isn’t it? Where the hell is he right now, and what’s he doing? Here I am, struggling.”

Ponsuke picked up the next envelope. Written on it was the name of the real estate agent who’d acted as a broker when he bought the island.

“Huh? What’s this envelope? I thought all dealings with that real estate agent were done.”

Tilting his head in puzzlement, Ponsuke opened it to find several documents inside.

As he skimmed through them…

“What!? W-what the hell is going on here!?”

The documents contained a notice that the title to the property Ponsuke owned had been transferred entirely to Konzawa, the person he’d entrusted with acting as his manager.

“This can’t be true! R-right, I need to contact Konzawa!”

Ponsuke grabbed his cell phone and tried calling Konzawa, but there was no sign that he was picking up.

“Dammit! Anyway, I’ve got to go to the real estate agency and check this out!”

Ponsuke hurried off, running toward the real estate agency to find out the truth about what was really going on.

Ponsuke was convinced the real estate agency must have made some kind of mistake.

When he entered the office to check, the one he found there was…

“Konzawa, you!”

“I heard the envelope was supposed to arrive today. I figured it would be here by now, so I was waiting.”

Konzawa was sitting comfortably on the sofa.

Unlike his usual self, who never sat in chairs and always stood next to Ponsuke, he now sat with his chest puffed out, exuding an overwhelming presence.

“Konzawa! What the hell are these documents?!”

Ponsuke stepped in close to Konzawa, waving the papers from the envelope in his face.

“Wow, I never thought it would go so smoothly! Just by mixing them in with the resort documents, I got the approval without a hitch!”

“W-what did you say?!”

“Oh, take these too. I was going to include them, but since I’m here, I thought I’d hand them to you in person.”

Konzawa tossed a few photos to Ponsuke.

“What are these photos!? Sharks working at a kamaboko factory and migratory birds apprenticing under the owner of a yakitori stand!?”

“That’s right. This is proof that you’ve placed many animals in jobs they never wanted.”

“W-why are you bringing this up now of all times!?”

“Don’t you remember? Twenty years ago, you sent a fox to Yonaguni Island…”

“A fox… Yonaguni Island… What!? N-no way!”

“You remembered, didn’t you? That fox was my father!”

“T-that’s ridiculous…”

“I’ve been working under you all this time for this… That’s right, this is my father’s revenge!”

Hearing the word revenge, Ponsuke snorted derisively at Konzawa.

“Hmph, some worthless son of someone who wouldn’t even pay back that money? So what? Are you trying to threaten me with this?”

“It seems you don’t quite understand the situation you’re in.”

“What do you think you can do with these photos? I’ll still let it slide if you do it now, so give me back that contract!”

“There’s more. You did it, didn’t you? You applied for the subsidy!”

“What!? Uh, um, what are you talking about?”

Even as he said those things, Ponsuke had slyly applied for the subsidy himself.

Yes, this tanuki had been blinded by the lure of quick cash.

“Are you sure you want me to spill the beans? If this gets out, you’ll never be able to survive in the underworld again.”

“W-wait, you didn’t actually plan this far ahead, did you…?”

“Just shut up and do as I say!”

“G-grrrr, you piece…!”

“…But I’m not a monster. If you show me some sincerity, I’ll keep my mouth shut.”

“What the hell do you mean by that?”

“Didn’t you say that money is more important than life?”

At Konzawa’s signal, a massive hot plate was brought in from the back of the room.

“Hmph, so you’re suggesting we make some okonomiyaki?”

“Not quite. It’s you who’s going to be grilled on this.”

“W-what did you say!?”

“If you show your sincerity on this hot plate, I’ll return the property to you.”

“Sincerity, you say…”

“You’ve seen plenty of it by now. Those who borrowed money from you have done it right in front of you, haven’t they?”

“D-don’t tell me I must kneel myself right here on this thing!?”

Even a child knew what would happen if you prostrate yourself on a hot griddle.

Ponsuke thought it was clearly going too far, but if he didn’t do it, he wouldn’t get the property back.

“Guh… grr… uuuu… grrrrrrr…!”

On the surface, simply bowing one’s head might seem like an easy task that anyone could do. However,

“Will you do it or not?”

He bent his knees and placed his hands on the ground as if prostrating himself. That single act encapsulated his entire life.

“Go! Go!”

Whoa! I’M GONNA DO IIIIIT!”

With that determination, Ponsuke leaped onto the hot plate.

But…

“Ouch! …Wait, it’s not even hot at all!?”

“Yes, of course. The smell of a tanuki roasting would be simply unbearable.”

“Y-you bastard!”

“But I never expected you’d actually jump on it. It’s fine, I get your belief that money is more important than life.”

“R-really?!”

“Yes, I forgive you. Besides, it’s not like my father died.”

Konzawa began signing a document and handed it to Ponsuke.

It contained the details of the transfer of ownership for PSR.

“…Wait a second. Why just the resort? I had more properties than that!”

“I’m only returning the resort. I’m keeping everything else.”

“NANI!? That’s not what we agreed on!”

“What are you talking about? I never said a single word about returning everything, did I?”

“I-it can’t be… P-please, some of those properties are truly important to me! I’m begging you, give them back!”

Ponsuke dropped to his knees in front of Konzawa.

“Oh my, what are you doing? Even if you do that, I have no intention of giving them back. Besides…”

Konzawa approached Ponsuke, flashed a smirk, and whispered in his ear.

“If bowing your head could solve everything, we wouldn’t need the police or moneylenders, right?”

“Guh…”

“Oh, right. The search operation for the plane crash has ended. As a final act of kindness, I went ahead and posted a notice saying you’re reopening for business.”

“…Huh?”

“I think you’ll have plenty of customers starting tomorrow; I’ve already received a few reservations. …Oh, but you’re the only employee.”

“Huh?”

The next day…

A large crowd of customers had gathered at PSR, which had successfully resumed business.

“Hey, you tanuki over there! What are you doing?! My order still hasn’t arrived!”

“Y-yes, coming right up!”

“And when are you going to lend me the tools over here? I already filled out the paperwork!”

“I’ll bring them right away!”

There stood Ponsuke, working the entire place all by himself.

Having lost everything except his resort, he had no choice but to run the place properly all by himself.

“Squeak, squeak!”

“Shut up! I’ll water you later, so just be quiet for a bit!”

Kicking away the mysterious plants (or whatever they were) swarming at his feet, Ponsuke gets to work again today.

To recoup his investment and return to the underworld.

“I’m gonna climb my way back up from here, just you wait~!”

• Ponsuke is basically Tom Nook but (more) evil.

• There are many references to the Gambling Apocalypse: Kaiji manga series. For instance, the hotplate in episode 8 is a direct nod to the Kneeling Plate Grill.

• Ep 7/8: The original text used ダニィ (danii), a misheard version of nani that originated from the Dragon Ball Z: Broly – The Legendary Super Saiyan movie. I decided to go with NANI!? to try to keep a meme vibe. By the way, this exclamation also appears in Pometa and Torakichi’s stories.